Lost in your lens - NewJeans' Minji x M!Reader

Ch. 13 - Out of Frame

It took three attempts to schedule our "proper talk." First, my morning class ran late. Then her gallery meeting went long. Finally, New York decided to have a power outage right as we connected. The universe seemed to be telling us something, but we were both too stubborn to listen.

The fourth attempt connected at 2 AM Seoul time. Minji's face filled my screen, backlit by New York's morning sun streaming through her studio windows. She looked more awake than I felt, already dressed for her day while I sat in my darkened dorm room, yesterday's clothes still on.

"So," she started, fingers automatically reaching for her camera before remembering it wasn't there. Old habits.

"So," I echoed, trying to smile. "Tell me about the gallery offer?"

She did. The words spilled out like she'd been holding them back: A year-long contract. Visa sponsorship. Her own exhibition space. Connections with major art magazines. Opportunities that most photographers only dreamed about.

"They really believe in my work," she said, her eyes bright with an excitement she was trying to contain. "The director said my perspective on finding home in foreign spaces is exactly what they're looking for."

The irony of that statement hung between us, heavy as storm clouds.

"That's..." I searched for the right word, found only honest ones. "That's incredible, Minji."

"But?"

"No buts. You deserve this. All of it."

She was quiet for a moment, studying my face through the screen. Even through pixels, she had a way of seeing right through me. "Then why do you look like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're trying to take a photo of something that's already gone."

The metaphor hit too close. Everything about us lately felt like trying to capture moments that had already passed - memories of easier times when the biggest challenge was admitting our feelings, not figuring out how to hold onto them across oceans.

"I just..." I ran a hand through my hair, probably making it worse. "I thought after two months..."

"We'd be back to normal?" There was something careful in her voice now. "But what if this is a different kind of normal? What if-"

"What if your normal is there now?" The words came out sharper than intended. "In New York, with its perfect gallery lighting and endless opportunities?"

"That's not fair." Her excitement had faded, replaced by something that looked too much like hurt. "You know this isn't just about-"

"Isn't it though?" I was too tired, too scared, too everything to stop the words now. "Every call, every photo - it's all about how amazing New York is. The galleries, the photographers, the opportunities. Your whole life is there now."

"My whole life?" Now there was anger in her voice. Real anger, not the playful frustration we sometimes shared. "You think because I'm excited about my career, about finally having people recognize my work, that means I'm abandoning everything else?"

"Aren't you?" The question hung between us like a badly exposed photograph - too dark, too harsh, revealing things we usually kept hidden.

"Why can't you just be happy for me?" Her voice cracked slightly. "Why does my success have to mean I'm leaving?"

"Because you are leaving!" The truth of it hit like a physical pain. "Two months was supposed to be temporary. A year is... a year is..."

"A year is what? Too long to wait? Too much to ask?" She was properly angry now, but I could see tears in her eyes. "Would you rather I just give up everything I've worked for?"

"Of course not! I just..." I slumped back in my chair, suddenly exhausted. "I don't know how to do this, Minji. Watch you build this amazing life somewhere else while I'm stuck here trying to figure out if I even have a future in Korea."

The silence that followed felt like drowning.

"Stuck?" she finally said, very quietly. "Is that how you see your life here? As being stuck?"

"That's not what I-"

"No, I think it is." She wiped angrily at her eyes. "You're not stuck, Y/N. You're choosing. Just like I'm choosing. The difference is I'm not afraid to admit what I'm choosing."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm tired of pretending this is just about distance!" Her voice rose slightly. "You're not mad that I might stay in New York. You're mad because I'm brave enough to chase what I want while you're still hiding behind excuses!"

The words hit like a slap. Because maybe she was right. Maybe watching her succeed, watching her fearlessly pursue her dreams, made my own fears feel more real. The graduate school applications sitting half-finished on my desk. The TOPIK practice tests I kept postponing. The future I said I wanted but was terrified to actually reach for.

"That's not..." I started, but couldn't finish. Because what if it was?

"I have to go." She was gathering her things, movements sharp with hurt. "I have a meeting with the gallery director. About my future. The one I'm not afraid to choose."

"Minji-"

The call ended before I could say anything. For the first time since she'd left, we hadn't said "I love you" before disconnecting.

I sat there, slumped in my chair for what seemed like hours, but was only 15 minutes. Tears, dripping from the seams of my eyes. I just ruined the one thing I loved here, the one thing that took me away from that loneliness of those first weeks.

My phone immediately lit up with messages:

Hyein: WHY is Minji posting sad song lyrics at 3 AM our time???

Danielle: what'd you do??

Hanni: Whatever happened, we're here.

I turned my phone off.

Outside my window, Seoul's night sky was starting to fade into dawn. The same sun that had been lighting Minji's angry tears was now painting my city in colors that felt wrong somehow. Out of focus. Out of frame.

On my desk, the half-finished applications seemed to mock me. Next to them, our winter photo album lay open to a page from the first snow - us dancing under falling flakes, believing love was as simple as being in the right place when the weather turned magical.

But maybe Minji was right. Maybe love wasn't about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe it was about being brave enough to choose your own light, even when it meant stepping out of frame for a while.

I turned my phone back on.

Me: Can we meet? All of you? I think... I think I need help figuring something out.

The responses were immediate:

Haerin: Danielle's room in 20?

Danielle: wait what why my room.

Hyein: be there in 10!

Hanni: Same. Bringing emotional support snacks.

Danielle: HELLO?? MY ROOM AND I DIDNT AGREE TO JT???

Maybe Minji wasn't the only one who could be brave.

Maybe it was time to stop hiding behind other people's light and start choosing my own.

Even if that choice hurt like hell right now.