The Sum of My Past Mistakes

Chapter 5

It was a bright, sunny morning, and as soon as I opened my eyes, I remembered what day it was. Benjie's second birthday. My heart warmed at the thought of him, even though I wasn't with him. Two years had passed so quickly, and I couldn't believe how much he had grown. I missed him so much it hurt. I grabbed my phone and dialed Mom's number. The phone rang a few times before she picked up.

"Hello?" her voice was groggy, but I could tell she was happy to hear from me.
"Hi, Mom! It's me, Jules," I said, trying to keep the cheer in my voice. "Happy Birthday to Benjie! I hope he's having a great day."
"Oh, Juliet! I was just thinking about you." She paused for a moment, and I could hear the sound of Benjie laughing in the background. "We're having a little party here. Benjie's enjoying all the attention. He's so grown now, I can hardly believe it."
My heart swelled with emotion at the thought of my little boy. I wished so badly I could be there to see him blow out his candles, but I knew Mom was taking good care of him.
"I sent some money for a birthday cake," I told her. "I hope he likes it."
Mom let out a sigh of relief, her voice filled with appreciation. "You know I'm making sure he's happy. The cake will be here soon. He's so lucky to have you."
We talked a little more, catching up about everyday things, but it was hard for me to stay focused. I was missing out on so much of his life, and I couldn't wait for the day I could be with him again. But for now, all I could do was make sure he had a special day, even from afar. As I was about to end the call, I noticed a notification on my phone. Melanie had tagged Benjie in a story on Facebook. I couldn't help but smile as I opened the app. There, in the story, was a picture of Benjie, his big brown eyes full of excitement as he played with his birthday presents. He looked so much like his father, but there was something in his smile that made me feel like he was all mine. Melanie had captioned the story: "Happy 2nd birthday to the sweetest little nephew I know! 💙🎂 #HappyBirthdayBenjie"

I felt a lump in my throat. It was such a simple thing, but seeing Benjie in Melanie's post made me feel connected to him in a way that made the distance feel a little less painful. I quickly tapped a like on the post and sent her a message.

Thanks so much for sharing this, Mel. I miss him so much. It's great to see him having a good time!

I knew Melanie understood. She had been one of the only constants in my life during this whole journey, and it meant the world to me that she was still a part of Benjie's life. After finishing my conversation with Mom, I settled into the day with a bittersweet smile. I knew Benjie was in good hands with her, and I was doing everything I could to support him from afar. But there was also a part of me, deep down, that couldn't help but feel a pang of regret. I wanted to be the one there, to hold him, to see the joy in his eyes. I promised myself that soon, things would be different. Soon, I would find a way to make it work and be the mother Benjie deserved. For now, though, I could only send my love from a distance and hope that it was enough.

Willie's POV
It was one of those busy afternoons at the office. I had been buried under project plans and wiring diagrams for an electrical installation job at a new complex. As an electrical engineer, deadlines were always looming, and today was no different. I leaned back in my chair, rubbing the tension from my neck. I decided to take a quick break—just a few minutes to clear my head. I opened Facebook on my phone, mostly out of habit, scrolling mindlessly through updates, memes, and the usual barrage of photos. Then I came across a post that made me freeze. It was a photo of a little boy, probably around two years old. He had big brown eyes, curly hair, and a smile that looked painfully familiar. My chest tightened as I stared at the screen, my mind racing. I scrolled back up to see who had posted it, and there it was: Melanie Black's profile. She was Juliet's cousin, one of the people I hadn't thought about in years. I felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. I clicked on the photo, enlarging it to take a closer look. The boy—Benji—looked exactly like me when I was a kid. There was no mistaking it; this child was mine. I felt a rush of emotions—anger, shock, and a strange, unexpected surge of pride. My heart was pounding as I tried to process what I was seeing. How could Juliet have kept this from me? How could she not have told me she had my child? My hands were shaking as I closed Facebook and dialed Juliet's number. It rang a few times before she picked up.