The Sum of My Past Mistakes

Chapter 2

The realization hit me like a punch to the stomach. The next few weeks became a blur of confusion, questions, and fear. How could this happen? We had used protection, hadn't we? And yet here I was—alone, scared, with no answers.
The following Monday, I decided to skip my morning classes. I headed straight to his dorm again, hoping against hope that he'd returned. This time, I wasn't leaving until I saw him. I knocked on his door again, harder this time, ignoring the stares from a couple of passing students. I was about to give up when the door creaked open, and there he was, standing there as if he hadn't been avoiding me for weeks.

"How may I help you?" His expression was a mixture of surprise and something else — annoyance, maybe?
"We need to talk," I said, pushing past him into the room before he could say anything. I wasn't going to let him dismiss me this time. Willie closed the door behind me, sighing heavily as if my presence was the last thing he wanted. The room was dimly lit, curtains drawn even though it was late morning. The smell of stale air and the faint scent of his cologne hit me, bringing back memories I wasn't ready to relive.

"What's going on, Juliet?" he asked, his voice flat. He leaned against his desk, arms crossed, the picture of nonchalance. But I could see the tension in his jaw, the way his eyes wouldn't meet mine.
I took a deep breath, trying to steady the tremble in my voice. "You've been ignoring me for weeks. I've texted, called — you never responded, Willie? Did I do something wrong?"
He laughed, a short, humorless sound. "You didn't do anything wrong, Juliet. You're just taking this way too seriously."
I stared at him, struggling to process his words. "Taking what too seriously? Us? Is that what you're saying?"
He shrugged, looking anywhere but at me. "Us? What us? Look, we had fun, okay? But that's all it was — fun. I never said it was anything more."
I felt a chill run down my spine. I knew something was off, but hearing it from his mouth, the way he dismissed everything we'd shared, felt like a slap to the face.
"But you — you said you liked me," I stammered, my voice breaking. "We spent so much time together. . . I lost my virginity to you. You made me feel like I mattered to you."
He finally looked at me, his eyes cold and distant. "I did like you, Juliet. But I never promised you anything. You're acting like we were in some kind of relationship, and that's just not the case."
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but I blinked them away. I wouldn't cry in front of him. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
"So, what was I then?" I demanded. "A fling? A distraction?"
His silence was answer enough. I took a step back, the weight of his indifference crushing me.
"Wow," I whispered, my voice trembling. "I was stupid to believe you. To think that you actually cared."
Willie sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Look, you're a nice girl, Juliet. But I'm not looking for anything serious. I already have someone, okay?"
I felt like the room was spinning. "What do you mean you already have someone?"
He finally met my gaze, his expression almost bored. "I have a girlfriend. We've been together for five years. We had a rough patch, and you were just — I don't know, a rebound, I guess."
The words hung in the air, each one hitting me like a physical blow. A rebound. That's all I was to him. The nights we spent together, the conversations, the laughter — it all meant nothing. I felt like I was suffocating, the walls closing in around me.
"You're lying," I managed to say. "This has to be some sick joke."
He shook his head. "It's not a joke. I didn't think you'd get so attached. That's on you."

I stared at him, unable to believe the person standing before me was the same guy who had held my hand, who had looked at me with what I thought was affection. I'd never felt so humiliated, so used. My hands were shaking as I fumbled in my bag, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. I had taken a pregnancy test that morning, the result still fresh in my mind. I threw it at him, watching as it fluttered to the ground at his feet. His eyes narrowed as he picked it up, unfolding it slowly. The color drained from his face as he read the result.