Mental (Sturniolo's best friend)

9

TW: self harm mentions

stay safe, ENJOY

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Kiara POV:

Matt has been standing at the counter for like fifteen minutes. His waffles in the toaster must be cold by now. He must be zoned out, I don't know how he still has eyes when he is zoning out for this long. How do they not dry out? That a question for another day. "Matt? MATT! Are you okay over there? I thought you were replaced with a statue for how long you were standing over there." When I don't know how serious a situation is, I try to make slightly humorous jokes, or joke try to make them giggle at least. It makes conversing with people less awkward than it already typically is.

"Yeah, sorry just zoned out." "I could tell."

See? Hilarious. Most of the time it was just me laughing at my own jokes, but at least someone was laughing.

I knew that something was bothering him, but should I ask about it? I don't like when people ask if I am okay, but Matt does it all the time so it should be okay, right? Fuck it, I am worried about him.

"You sure you are okay? You look stressed."

"Well, I was just thinking."

"About?"

"The fact that you have gone through so much and still try to be happy. I haven't been through half as much as you and I just chose to be a jerk face and put you through more than you already had on your plate. I was thinking back to all the times you were injured when we were little and I never though anything of it, until now."

I was not expecting that. Of all things I would expect him to talk about how there was ketchup on the counter, not the fact that I was traumatized. I don't know how to reply, so I make a joke. What an idiot I am.

"Of all the words you could think of you chose jerk face? I haven't heard you say that before. Time to add it to my checklist."

All I got was a smile and a slight chuckle. I thought it was funnier than a SLIGHT chuckle, but I guess not. Nick would be straight faced, considered nothing about him is straight that is impressive. The man is gay for crying out loud!

Oh how hilarious I am of an individual.

"You like to make jokes about everything. I am so glad one of us can see the bright side in situations."

If only he knew that I had to force myself to see the bright side after having a mini panic attack about any other possible situations that could be problematic. He would have a heck of a time in my mind. I wonder what his mind is like? Does it revolve around his hate for ketchup, because he brings it up so much that I figured its all his thoughts could provide him. Okay, enough with the jokes.

I know that he has a sick mind, just like me. Maybe not as sick, but still sick non the less. He has to frequently skip school due to his anxiety. Lucky, not about anxiety, just that his parents let him stay home when he was struggling. My parents would send me off after a beating. Crazy how life works, some people get good families, and others get a dumpster fire of parents. Luckily, I escaped that environment, unlike some others. I find myself lucky that I got the chance to escape and like happily with my favorite people that treated me like the daughter they never got.

Sometimes people may want kids, but not be capable of taking care of them throughout any obstacles and raise the child correctly. Correctly, what a concept many people don't understand. You can complete something, but that doesn't mean you did it correctly. I can't even count how many times I have used that phrase. Thank you to my strict second grade teacher for making sure the entire class heard that plenty of times.