"No one's monster"

Chapter 2 // Family.

The more time he spent there, the more he started to find things he enjoyed.. late night walks, reading, hell, even cooking. He'd tell himself he just likes cooking, not that he likes helping Abuela, that he looks forward to cooking with her. Nope! Not that! There's no way in hell he's going soft, he'd never! This was weird... For once in his life, he didn't feel only annoyance and hatred. He felt.. happiness is certainly not the good word, he'd rather say... "peacefulness"? That isn't that fitting either, but at least it is closer to the truth.

In the last few weeks being there he learned that Stanley and Stanford will be back in a few months, due to their sailing adventures, and the twins will be back for the summer. He didn't want to see any of them, hell, he didn't want to see the others either. But he really has no choice, the Axolotl won't kill him nor take him back. This is gonna be a long punishment, that's for sure... Oh yeah, and he also learned how to knit! Yeah sure, that's a useless skill, won't argue, but he's kinda proud of it.

He also started to sleep more, and even tho he wouldn't ever admit, he's.. kind of enjoying the company he's receiving... Wait what. No. Nonononono, he needs to stop with this. He's Bill Cipher. The God (well, ex-god), he can't go soft like this. This is stupid, he's here to serve his sentence, he's not here to "enjoy it". All of this is starting to get fucking confusing...

He still had trouble speaking, it still hurt like shit. Couldn't say a word without feeling like being stabbed in the throat, so he decided to not talk for most of the time. He helped around the shack,  cleaning and serving customers, I mean, he's pretty shit at communicating, wow, who would've expected?? But still, he's been doing a pretty good job so far, even being the "Employee of the month", well, that's something I suppose- not something he'd be proud of tho, but still, it's something.

Bill still found the fact that he'd be included in the "Family Dinners" weird. He decided to bring it up at one of those dinners.

B: Why.. are you-... doing t-this..?

Ml: Do what, Billy?

B: L-.. let me at... these dinners.. and.. y'know-... trust me..?

Ml: What do you mean? You've been around for a month so far, we all consider you family!

Ab: That's right Mijo. You're a part of our family now.

"Family"?.. well Good God, he hasn't heard the word "family" in a good while.. they considered him family..? Family. Family... That just continued to echo in his mind, what do they mean by that... Family??? Family... God.. what was happening to him? Why did he suddenly feel like this? He was pointlessly panicked, breathing heavily. Why is this happening? He wasn't used to this. Next thing you know, Abuela was hugging him trying to calm him down, wiping a tear he didn't realize he had on his cheek. Why are they acting like this... all.. caring, and nice, and sweet, he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve any of this, the roof over his head, the food, the acts and gestures from others, the sweetness, the fact that someone considered him family. It was too much for him.. who thought a demon could break like this? Shit, shit, shit, he didn't want to be seen like this, he didn't want to be seen by everyone like this, a pathetic mess of a man who can't control his own emotions.

Bill wanted to scream, shout at Abuela, tell her he didn't need her pity, her sympathy. If this were to happen in the past, he'd absolutely explode, but now.. now... he can't. He just can't. He can't tell Abuela anything. He just sat there, letting Abuela hug him. He hadn't felt this type of physical touch from a human being in a long time.. he hated the way he knew he needed it, even slightly craving it. He hugged her back, after muttering something, something like a "sorry", but no, no, it was so unlike him, he would never, in his right mind, apologize, what was he? a pussy? He kept hugging Abuela for some time, before finally letting go, getting up and going straight to his room. He didn't want to make eye contact with anyone after that incident...

More days, weeks, passed, same daily routine, sometimes even helping Abuela prepare dinner, or helping Melody around the house, or... helping everyone in general. He didn't understand why he was so eager to help, in the past if you told him he'll end up working for the Pines he'd laugh in your face. He just couldn't say no, which is unusual.. almost if he actually wanted to help. Hm. Strange. His speaking didn't get any better, in fact, it started to hurt more for some reason, he limited to small words or signs. Also, his cracks started to become more visible.. what was happening to him? It looked like his body was trying to self-destruct, oh it was bad.