BEETLE3JUICE

What Happened to the Maitlands

Man. Waiting rooms. Long time. He could only be able to sit for so long, he had to move. He was always charged with so much energy. Move, move, move! He went to go see the secretary again. When she opened the door to speak, he held the door and snuck a kiss from her.

Probably not a good chance she was interested, but he'd seen crazier things. Yeah, she was mad, and closed her window again. He waited beside the window for the next person who came up. Then snuck another kiss again. "So, if I give you a date, can you move my number up? Oh, and do you like my head this small?"

Ooh, she was angry. She just left and another replaced her. So he tried her out. Yeah, she wasn't interested either, but she did bring his number up faster. "Thanks," he said, "but do I look good with a small head?" No answer yet.

Bummer. Maybe he didn't look good with a small head.

"Hey?" Beetlejuice was renting an office now, his business was actually starting to make some decent ground. Things were going well, but he just saw Lydia Deetz cross by it. Which was impossible. Unless she died? He went after her.

She was sulking on the ground.

"Uuh?" She seemed very alive still. "Hey, did you die?" She didn't answer. He came closer to her. She couldn't see him. "What is this?" He could feel how horribly sad she felt. Someone hurt her feelings. "Miss Shannon." He didn't know it. He wished he did. He wished he knew why he cared too.

She eventually faded away, but he still felt bummed out. Strange.

It was far from the last incident though. Several times had he caught Lydia crossing his office. She was either super sad or super happy. One or the other extreme. Getting tired of guessing and knowing he never saw anything that batshit crazy in the handbook, he had to go deeper.

He went back to the waiting room, and tried to ask for help with the problem of seeing the living. It took a good six months before Juno finally met with him. She was just as terrible at busting his balls now as she was back then. "Look? Let's leave all the conflict of the past out of this. Just a client here. I just need an answer."

"You!" Juno still wasn't happy. "Are you kidding me? If so, this is the longest running joke ever, and your worst bit so far."

"Well, the academy award winner doesn't go to me," Beetlejuice insisted. "What's it all mean?"

Juno touched the bridge of her nose. "It means. That you. Care."

Care? "Care about what?"

"You never care about anything," she griped. "Are you sure you are seeing that girl at her highest highs and lowest lows?"

"Yeah. So what is it, and why am I the only one seeing this stuff?" he had to ask.

Juno still didn't look pleased. "You are repulsive. You're a disease."

"Thanks, but why am I the only one seeing this stuff?" he asked again.

"Ungrateful and so stupid." Juno took a very deep breath, emitting smoke. "You are seeing a connection between you two. Apparently, for some reason, it's strong."

"Okay? What do I do with that?"

"You don't do anything with it," she answered. "You recognize it for what it is."

Recognize? "You haven't told me a thing yet Juno, you are pretty pathetic at your job. How can I use this for my advantage?"

That got her. "It means that you found a connection with a human which is great and terrible! It's terrible because you, of all people, of any person in the Neitherworld, are definitely not worthy of it." She moaned. "You. Basically. Found a soulmate, Beetlejuice."