thats when everything fell apart

Chapter 50

Destiny's POV
When I wake up Harry is carrying me in to the house and it's probably about 8 pm. I breathe in a huge breath of his amazing cologne and soon we are inside. When he is about to carry my fat ass up the stairs, I drop my legs down so that I am touching the floor and begin to walk. "Good morning babe." Harry says with laugh. "Hey babes. How did recording go?" I ask nonchalantly. "Well I'm glad we were all in separate rooms but I think the producers know there is something going on between me and Louis." I frown. When the boys first got into a band and I was dating niall the producer said if I get in between the band mates, he will force me to breakup with whoever I was at the time dating and instantly ship me back to Wisconsin. "Does he know why you guys aren't talking?" I ask. A little more worry in my voice then I was hoping for. By now we are in our room. Harry jumps up , spins and lands laying down on his back on the bed. I sit on the edge and start to chip at the fingernail paint. Something I have developed in to a habit whenever I get worried or annoyed. He realises that something isn't right. "Uhmm..
No I'm pretty sure me and Louis are keeping it between us. Liam doesn't even know what the hell was going on." He says. I try to look a little less worried and I smile.. "Well then I guess I'm going to go eat lunch" and harry laughs. I walk downstairs and harry hops in the shower. I make myself a hotdog and some Mac-n-cheese. And grab a Gatorade. While I eat my food I scroll through my apps and I'm texting one of my old friends Hannah when I see one new message light up the top of my screen. And then it dings. From: spermdoner. I refuse to call him my dad now. I read the message. Hey honey! I just want you to know that daddy loves you that's ironic you told me I was a worthless piece of shit who needed to kill myself last I talked to you but... I think about you everyday , about how much I love you... And well I was missing you so much I was scrolling through your twitter and I saw you saying stuff about killing yourself At the point... I am like not breathing . just holding my breath staring at the blank screen that says so much. Now hear me out. Last time I heard you out I got told to kill myself and in full detail how I should do it. How I would suffer more if I cut and then took sleeping pills and then drank a fifth. But..
I want you to know you are amazing He did Not just say that. You mean the world to me. He must hate this world. And I have stopped drugs. Yeah fuckin right. He'll stop drugs when I stop loving Harry. Which speaking of him , He comes downstairs. "What's wrong destiny?" All I do is show him the screen and he knows what's wrong. "Breathe. Now. I don't care how bad your sttomach hurts or how much your throat burns. You. Need. To. Breathe. Now." He said and I choke on the lump in my throat and I begin to cry after I breathe. Harry wraps his arms around me. He knows how much my dad hates me and how every time I talk to him and let him back in my life how he just hurts me and ends up ruining a lot of things. I keep crying when harry carries me up to our room and keep crying when we are snuggling and I pretty much cry myself to sleep...

THE NEXT DAY.

I Wake up and harry isn't there. I walk downstairs and he is on the couch. I smile halfheartedly. He glances in my direction and stands up towards me and hugs me. "Are you okay?" He whispers in to my cheek. I mutter a yeah and we snuggle on the couch for a while. Why do I deserve someone as amazing as Harry ? I don't ... He is way to amazing for my anxiety. Way to amazing for my cries. Way to amazing for my cuts... My scars... My thoughts... No one deserves to have to deal with me .. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy ... I am way to fucked up. I stand up and run up the stairs ... Leaving a confused Harry behind. I go into the bathroom and stare into the mirror and cry. My face is red and I'm crying to hard for life. I cut. Obviously... And after it gets done bleeding I walk out of the bathroom. I run into harry, Who realizes what just happened. He wraps his long arms around me. "Baby, he was not worth that at all. Why did you do that..?" I continue crying when he carries me over to the bed and kisses my for head and rubs comforting circles into my back. When I settle down Harry kisses my lips and talks to me for a while. He tells me a bunch of comforting things. And then before it all ends he says he loves me. Love. Something I used to be able to throw around so easily. Something I feel so strongly towards this boy . So strongly that I could never hurt him. I knew I had to end it now. Before he got to dedicated and in the end he dies with me. I abruptly stand up. I go to my closet and grab my coach bag and stuff as much of my clothes as I can into it. Then I grab my bookbag and stuff the rest of my clothes into it. I grab the rest of my crap and keep it in the closet. There's no way harry would let me leave after that happened. I finish the rest of the day it was slow and I had to be rude as hell to Harry because after I leave I don't want him to remember me in a good way. Shit I don't even want him to remember me at all. I don't want to put him through that. When I am sure Harry has drifted off at about four in the morning I grab all of my shit and head to the tree house. I clean the entire thing. Spraying it all with the worst scent I could find. Then I get a bunch of dirt and throw it all over the floor to erase any footprints or anything. I capture about six spiders and let them go in there. Hopefully they make spiderwebs.

I write notes to everyone . And head for the bridge