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Freakshow

Let's just say that my brain.. Makes a lot of jumps and skips and hops.

I ought to say that, some people just find it plain weird - and others find it endearing

No substances here, I'm 100% sober except for poison thoughts and internet addiction/lack of sleep

Nostalgia is happy ones, the bitterness is the sad ones, the ones that lead to salty tears [girl you have no trauma]

Everyone is bittersweet, we are all not that special, let's be honest

Why can't we all be special? Because then special.. Uh- nevermind, we are all specially uniquely imperfect. We can all be special in all different ways.

It's nearly impossible to find someone exactly the same, but finding people that mesh well and.. stay that way.. people change anyways, we adapt [and this sounds like inspirational hoo ha but who gives a fuck]

Because everyone is part of the freakshow, whether freakishly perfect or selling those less fortunate, being displayed, coming to watch out of either curiosity, entertainment, or supporting a partner or friend, maybe to try to free the freaks.
Heh, free the freaks?
Make the people scream as those laughed at and loathed run free? The unfortunate faces hmm.. Ah- there we are, no freaks on the street because it makes the fearful scared. Maybe they just aren't used to freaks

Maybe they'll never get used to the freaks

The freaks might want to get them used to the freaks, others might shun them in return

Either or, any of those work.. Right?

I got sidetracked, this was supposed to be about me- I got called weird or odd or quirky and i think i might use that word (lovingly sometimes) and all my friends are more likely to call themselves weird compared to the average person- or get called that there really isn't a difference that matters..

[I wonder how she is doing, but I shouldn't really, that'd be too nice of me or doormat-like. I should just leave the past behind and quit looking over my shoulder before I crack my neck on a pole I run into]

She talked about me literally in front of me with her- I don't miss people when they are like that

I have difficulty in focusing on the negatives of people, I always just think 'oh well, whatever' and move on, maybe- no they aren't worth my thoughts, this is my notice to just 'get over it'

Get over it because I only wasted a year and felt like I only ever half belonged there

My place is in the afterschool clubs, with the misfits I fit into, in my house with my actually amazing family, with those i just met AKA the people I do not care that much for- or that's what I tell myself, because.. I just- OK fine. I love them all, and I will miss them if they leave. But we met and I remember so from kindergarten to my deathbed I'll keep it somewhere in my brain
[probably]

I know that, or at least, I do now. Call it immaturity or whatever, but I'm fine halfway in the sandy water, the sinkhole, the quicksand.. Although it feels awfully slow of a fall.

I will get up, but I'm taking the freaks with me.

I will do this. I will..

I will try to.. I will try my..

I will try my best. Or at least the best of what I can do.

That's all we can do, yeah?
Wait- did I quote doki doki? Whatevs

If you couldn't tell, I think that my friends are all freaks - I mean this in a positive light, because pretending to be normal is unnatural, it's simply convention. That is all. Right? Yeah.. I'll cut it off here <3

I'm back like exactly a month later- DID I RLLY HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT TO THE INTERNET?

YK the place with all the damn over-thinkers? 

Ahhaa.. yes no maybe so, humans are weird and that's just life. 

Fuckin' love the internet.. and also loathe it- anyone see Wicked? It's on my list and I've heard most of the soundtrack but hadn't seen the movie

Picture? No song. Another song. This one? Self explanatory - thx google wattpad YouTube search for key words