Can you even see me? A Katsuki x Reader Fanfic

ACT ONE: CHAPTER THREE.

Katsukis Pov:

Four hours..It's been four hours.. and the nerds still not back home...Auntie called the school, but he wasn't there. He didn't have any other friends so he couldnt have gone anywhere..Where is the damn nerd...Where the fuck is he?
By now, Auntie had called the police...And they filed a missing case. Me and Mom were also there..For support.
Auntie wouldn't, couldn't stop crying..
Her son had gone missing i think it's fair that shes so worried. He's quirkless, can't even defend himself for fucks sake.
Then, the police officer that had been talking to us, he got a phone call.
He excused himself and stepped aside, and i watched carefully as his expressin turned from calm, to confused, to concerned...To nervous..
Why...What the fucks going on?
I walk upto him,
"What's happening? Did they find him yet?!"
i ask, apparently all too rude for the officers liking
"Young Man step back. And uh..Yeah..We found him"
My anger fell, Auntie stood up, and so did mom.
Inko stepped forward, and spoke to the officer 
"Where is he?"
The officers expression grew, fear..and nervousness. Like he didn't know how to tell something...
My mind immediately thought of the worse..No..he didn't..right? No he's just probably somewhere being stupid..It's not like he'd actually do it.
I grab the officers collar
"Listen you little shit! Either you tell us what's happening...Or you take us there."
Another officer pushed me away from the main guy
"Kid this is no way-"
"I don't have time for your stupid lectures..What the fuck happened to Izuku!?"
The officer looked conflicted..Then he nodded to the other officer.
"...Come with me.."
And he gestired to his shop..
I looked at mom and Auntie...And Mom nodded
I take Auntie with me to the car, and we both sat in it.
The car drive began.. and the more it went on, the more dread I'd feel
Soon enough, we reached a building..with police cars and lights and people surrounding the bottom of it.
We couldnt see anything..but the police officer stopped the car there..
We got down, and another officer came towards us..
"Inko Midoriya?"
He asked, and Auntie nodded..
"We need you to come with us.."
I stand there guarded..and the officer looked my way.
"Excuse me, what're you to the victim?"
"Victim?"
"Yeah, Izuku Midoriya was it?"
Oh
"....Childhood friend.."
Officer's expression fell..
"You should probably see this too"
"See what?"
But he didn't answer, and we were pushed to the front of the crowd, and...my blood froze..Heart racing..
There, on the floor, was a body...with a pale white sheet covering it...blood stained the road underneath..and we couldn't see who it was
Until a gust of wind knocked the sheet up and-
...Green hair...Thar green hair...There's no way..No the nerd i know wouldn never...
Auntie fell to her knees.
"IZUKU!!"
She cried and cried..I froze in place.
My eyes, i couldnt stop looking...
...***You know it's your fault right?***
A voice in my head spoke...and i bolted from there..
No..I- I didn't know...I didn't actually think hed do it..why would he think I meant it
***It's your fault..You're the reason he killed himself..You bullied him, you TORTURED him..You are the reason..Auntie doesn't have a son anymore..You don't have a friend anymore..You know all he wanted was to be your friend...and yet you constantly tortured him all these days...years..It's you who deserves to die..Not him. You're a fucking villain...Nothing else..***
I didn't know where I was going...i just kept walking..
Until an officer stopped me, pulling me away, apparently screaming at me..Not like i could hear...the ringing in my head was too loud..
"KID ARE YOU CRAZY?! WHATRE YOU DOING YOU COULDVE DIED!!"
Huh? Why would I?
I looked to the road...i was about to walk into traffic..Oh..
I got off the officer..and went and sat in his shop
I wouldn't stop shaking...and me and auntie were forced to fill all the forms and formalities that were supposed to be filled..I stood beside auntie as she did..By this time..her eyes were dead..I'd never seen her look soo...distraught...Inhuman..Dead.
And it's all my fault..If i hadn't told him what I did...maybe I couldnt prevented this..
After all this..we reached home...and auntie couldn't stay in her home..it would be too painful..to have to roam the same house izuku grew up in...when he wouldnt be there in it now.
I ran to my room, despite my mother's screams. I lock the door, and just sink to the floor
***Your fault***
Stop it..Please make it stop...Im sorry..I didn't know..
***Does that excuse anything?***
...It doesn't...
***You dont even deserve to be alive..how can you even be a hero when you killed someone? You killed him Katsuki...You killed him..He died because of you..Murderer..That's what you are a murderer***
Was i crying? Was i..even there in the room anymore? I couldn't tell. All i could do was listen to the voice in my head telling me I'm a murderer...and it's not wrong..I AM a murderer..I don't deserve anything..Not remorse..Not sympathy...Not even a repenting chance..the only thing I deserve...is death..
I stood up, about to head outside..but then...a shine, from my drawer..caught my attention...and i knew exactly what it was
..I deserve it right?...Dying isn't enough...I should feel the pain he felt all these years.
I go to my drawer...opening it and..there it was..Sat in the drawer was a small exacto-knife. I pick it up...and i look towards my hands..
***..Heh, resorting to this? sure!! ..you deserve all and any kind of pain you can get..Go ahead then..Do it...Do it Katsuki go on..If you're gonna cut yourself...then do it.***
Without a second thought, i ran the knife over my exposed arm..And i winced, red blood seeping from the cut I'd just created...But it..if felt releaving..Like i was getting rid of a burden i had..
But i looked down at the knife..the blood, it was so much...Shit...shit wait no.
I toss the knife back into the drawer and make quick work to patch the cut up.
I wore a hoodie to cover it and went downstairs..
By the time I'd reached down..Auntie and mom were at the dinner table, and Auntie was crying on a phone call...Did she have relatives?
"I didn't know anything Hisashi..It just happened..I didn't know what was going on..At all"
Hisashi?..Wait isn't that?
But auntie continued
"Yeah..i guess you could bring her here..She..Does she want to see me?"
She? whos 'she'?
Then suddenly, Auntie looked a bit more happier..."Thank you 'Zashi..I'll..Ill take care of her"
Who is 'her'?
I sat down at the table...and Auntie looked at me...
"..Are you .okay? darling?"
I felt tears prick just at that..God i was being so weak..I couldnt even hear her voice without dying of guilt
"I'll be fine..But.."
Auntie looked confused
"Who..were you talking to?'
Auntie sighed.."That's izuku's Father..He worked out of states this whole time..after the divorce.."
Divorce..so that's what happened..
"I have another daughter...One Hizashi decided to raise..I didnt tell izuku about her but...she grew up knowing everything.."
...What?
"So...Shes coming here?"
Auntie nodded..
I didn't answer..not sure what to think of it.
The next week goes in sad silence..No one talked about anything..Auntie went back to her home by now and..I had to go back to school. No one even tried to speak to me anymore..The teachers pulled me aside to berate me for what I did. Which i deserved. They have the right to be angry at me. I went to Izukus grave today..and just fell to my knees, apologising profusely for everything..If the others didn't know..Atleast he can know that i accept that I'm horrible...
.
.
.
.
A few months had passed..and Mom kept forcing me to attend the UA exam..But what's the point? I'm a villain. I can't be a hero..But she wouldnt get off my case..So i gave in.
I went to the exam with little to no preparation..and gave what I could...and still got in..I stared at the letter, congratulating me for my success in getting into UA...But i knew..i didn't deserve it.
Mom and Dad were estatic..But i didn't look happy at all. I didn't feel anything..Not even a smidge if happy or sad. I felt...robotic..Machine..Like i didn't have feelings...
I visited auntie...and she said i should go.
"It was always izuku's wish to see you be a prohero..I think he'd like seeing that."
And just like that..I was going to UA.