Pensiveness

Chapter Two

Chapter Two
Carmelita's POV

I happily hopped, while Alexander was beside me. "Ugh, do I really have to? I'm saving." , "A win is a win, Mr. Lopez. Now my milktea, please!" He chuckled and went to the store. "Isang milktea na po!" (One milktea!) , (po / opo is one of the words you may hear whenever a young person is talking to someone older / elderly) "Ano gusto?" The lady said. (What flavor?)

"Cookies and cream po!" I answer with glee and excitement. I think Alexander looked at me full of happiness. Huh? Why would he? I'm just being delulu. (delulu = delusional) The lady gave my order, and Alexander paid for it. "Thank you!!" I say after taking a sip. "I'm totally beating you, next recitation." We walked back to the next class. While walking, I wanted to ask him this. "Is your mom or dad... Proud of you?" He looked at me. "Why would you ask that?" I just want to know if he feels what I long for.

Appreciation.

"Just silly question!" I fakely chuckled. But he seems to chuckle back. "Y.. yeah." He said, his voice pitching at the end. Even of years of academic rivals, I sometimes care about him and see through his facade. "You sure?" I said, with full worry. "My mom's died, but my father's not." He chuckled. But I know it was fake. Was his father proud of him? Or was he abusive like mine? Why did his mom die? But I don't want to push him. "Oh, rest in peace to your mom." I say. To be honest, I don't know what to say back when somebody says that someone's loved one died. I was at my class and his class was at the next door. "By the way, I'm proud of you." I was almost to go inside but pause. "As you being my rival!!" I said, panicking.

I didn't want to make him feel that I'm in love with him..

I waved and went inside the classroom. I sat. What did he feel when I said that? He must've felt weird. I'm such an idiot, I just wanted to make him feel okay. Sometimes, I just want him to feel proud about himself. Whenever he wins an award, he nevers seems to feel glee.

Wait.

Why i'm I even worried about him.

I look up. Wait, why is everyone looking at me? "Ms. Abadino! I had called you three times now!" Ms. Santos scolded. "Sorry, Ms. Santos got distracted.." I look down and figet with my fingers.

Carmelita, fix yourself. Right, this instant.

"Distracted?... Or distracted by someone?" My classmates started shouting and squeling. Some chattering "Carmelita with someone? That boy must be special."

Me? Attracted to anyone? I had never had a crush on anyone. But I always find Alexander, handsome. But.... I'll just tell my aunties about this. Everybody settled down, and class started.

I have an abusing dad and a mom who doesn't care for her children. I have a sibling, but he's at college. And already have his successful business. Lucky... I sometimes hang out with my aunts. My Aunt Rosie and my Aunt Joseline. They are happily married. I sometimes wish I was like my aunties. Tough and would stand up for themselves. I'm just too much of a people pleaser, and I can't even say...

No.

The speaker starts ringing "Ms. Abadino, please come to the nurse's room to help Mr. Lopez."

What? Did something bad happen? My heart is beating fast with worry, I rushed to the room.