𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝑶𝒇 𝑳𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝑩𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 ~ 𝑊𝑎𝑙𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑔𝑎 𝐵𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑘

chapter eleven

Present day,

The snow spreads gently in the soft night of this winter. It falls and crashes in the greatest silence and it sparkles under the moonlight. Everything is far too quiet and Walburga sighs, tossing and turning in bed. Orion snores next to her and when she looks at him, she wants to stab him like every time she has the opportunity to think about it. She gets up silently and puts on her nightie, tying a dressing gown around her body.

She always feels guilty when Orion makes love to her, as if by this act, she betrays Sirius and she disgusts herself. She silently walks towards the door and she closes it gently once in the corridor. Walburga stops in front of Regulus' door that he left open and she watches him sleep. It is only in these moments that he seems happy and her heart tightens.

He wouldn't be going through all this misery if he had been born into another family. She knows he's suffering because Steviah is in the cave, that cold place where people get broken.

She knows that Steviah is suffering just like Sirius, her own child that she sent so that he could return to this family. She is aware of the harm she is doing, but you have to be like that to survive, she knows it better than anyone. She pushes open her son's door and she goes down the stairs in the same heavy silence. After the hall, she puts on shoes and a long coat before going outside.

The freezing cold seizes her and she shivers, but she does not turn around and traces her path. Her footprints disappear quickly, covered by the snow. Walburga crosses the field and arrives at the edge of the forest, from there, she goes inside. She knows the way by heart and could do it with her eyes closed. She crosses until she arrives at a small quarry closed with the help of a spell.

Raising her wand, she summons Sirius' grave and kneels in front of it, placing a hand on the cold stone.

"Merry Christmas, my love," she whispers.

She closes her eyes and when she opens them, she is nothing more than the teenager madly in love with Sirius, as pure and innocent as it is possible to be in this family. Tears fall softly as her legs absorb the water from the snow, but she no longer feels the cold, all she feels is him, Sirius.

"How dare you still come here?" he says from behind her. "After all you've done."

Walburga doesn't turn around, she can't face this ghost that's chasing her, haunting her steps, her shadow and she feels a black lump in her throat. He's right, she's become a monster, the person she never wanted to become, but now, she hates herself.

"I'm so sorry," she says. "I... how did you want me to react? I lost you and I lost myself at the same time. I died the day you died."

"Don't blame my death for your change," he replies. "You have no right to! It's because you're weak, you're nothing but weak and selfish. You're a monster. Look what you're doing to your sons."

"Stop..."

However, he continues, he spits all her truths in her face, rots her with all the names and she covers her ears before screaming, panting. He then kneels in front of her and lifts her chin. She closes her eyes, refusing to look at him.

"Look at me," he says. "Look at what you’ve done. You may not have killed me, but now you’re holding me back. Look at what I am!"

He screams to look at him and she sobs, opening her eyes. Another sob escapes as she sees nothing but a bony and disfigured corpse. A gag grips her, but she can’t move, she’s paralyzed.

"You’re a monster, Walburga," he breathes with foul breath and a black liquid flows from his mouth. "You always have been deep down. You curse everything you touch."