What This Could Be- Joe Jonas Fanfic

Chapter 64: Guide Me to the Light

*Taylor's POV*

I clasped the back of my earrings on and looked in the mirror. This wasn't what I meant when I said my favorite color was black. I despised that color now. All that color meant was loss.

"Taylor!" I heard my name being called out from the living room of my apartment, "Are you ready? We should get there a little early, don't you think?"

My black heels clicked on the floor with every step I took, "Ready as I'll ever be."

My mom walked over to me, placing her hands on both my arms before bringing me in a warm embrace, "You look beautiful."

Closing my eyes, I held back the waterworks, although I knew that wouldn't last long today. That was one of the reasons why I put on minimal make-up. It was going to wash off anyways.

 The car ride felt all too familiar, dreading our final destination as a family of three. My parents were all I had left again.

Once we arrived, I kept to myself after giving my condolences. I took a seat towards the front, right in back of where Liv's parents would be sitting. The program in my hand still wasn't looked at. I couldn't. Her face was already all over, framed pictures of her with her family and friends on a table in honor of her.

 I kept it relatively together, purposely numbing myself, until both her parents broke down giving their speech to their only child. I heard my mom hold back her own sobs remembering what that feeling was like to lose her first daughter.

Before I knew it, it was my turn. I couldn't even speak at my sister's funeral. I didn't know how I was going to do this, but I mustered bravery Liv had given me from the afterlife.

I placed my handwritten eulogy that I wrote yesterday on the podium next to Liv's closed casket. It was last minute, but it was the best I could have done, the first day I managed to get out of bed since she took her last breath.

Clearing my throat, I softly spoke into the mic, "Olivia lived life most don't have the drive to. She motivated and inspired everyone she came across."

I looked up for a second to address those sitting in the pews, listening and sobbing through Liv's celebration of life speeches. As I was about to continue, a second glance was needed.

There he was. Dressed in a black tux sitting all the way in the back. He was staring right back at me. Joe wouldn't have missed Liv's funeral. I should have known.

"Sorry," I focused back down, the words suddenly not feeling adequate enough. I decided to go off-script, "Before my sister died, she told me she would continue to guide me to the light. And by god, she definitely did. Liv was—is the brightest light anyone would be lucky to have. And so stubborn. Even during the end when most would give up, she didn't."

The room filled with weeping in all directions, but my eyes wanted to stay on Joe. It was evident he, too, was crying. He didn't even hide it. He loved her like a sister too, taking care of her when I couldn't while on the road touring the world together.

I stared at Joe, about to say words I overheard him tell her, "She did it."

My speech left off with telling a funny, yet sentimental story that probably only she and I would laugh at, and that was okay. It was for her anyways.

Sitting back down next to my parents, I wished he was by my side. It wouldn't have made the pain any less, but at least we would have had each other to lean on.

Time went by slowly. The memorial service was beautiful, but I knew Liv would have wanted everyone to be laughing and partying instead of crying on benches in a room filled with tears and sorrow.

I didn't remember walking into the reception. One second, I was sitting in a church pew, crying against my mom's shoulder. The next, I had a drink in hand. It was the only way I would be able to get through the remainder of the day.

 After grabbing a plate to put some food on it for no other reason than to join in on what everyone else was doing, I turned my body to walk away from the crowds of people gathering making small talk.

"Sorry!" I was brought back to the present as I accidentally bumped into an innocent bystander. Lifting my head, there stood Joe right in front of me, "Hi."

"Hi," he reciprocated, staring back at me as time stood still.