The Rants of Three

Growing Up-NOT

Yo, ThatPersonInYourRoom here. I just wanna take a moment to rant about all these goddamn people telling me to fucking grow up. Guess what, bitches? I DON'T WANT TO.

This summer sucks ass.

Really, ever since graduating—excuse me—promoting, it's like everyone's on my case about the future (cue weird futuristic noises) and all the that. In fact, this WHOLE summer has been about ORGANIZATION. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO SPEND MY LAST SUMMER BEFORE HIGH SCHOOL CLEANING???

Goddammit.

People.

I want to have fun. I want to leave great memories before I start what everyone knows as hell. I want to be a kid. Just one more time. One last time. Before I grow up. 

I wanna keep watching cartoons without getting weird looks from adults. I wanna keep playing (ACTUALLY PLAYING) with my little siblings without being accused of bullying them. I wanna stay close with all my friends. I don't want high school to tear us apart. I wanna sing "Under the Sea" without someone telling me to grow up (the assholes).

 I WANT STICKERS, DAMMIT. Shiny stickers, scratch-and-sniff stickers, glow-in-the-dark stickers, 3D stickers, cartoon stickers, small stickers, smiley face stickers, star stickers, big stickers, REAL. STICKERS. CAN I HAVE THAT?

I don't want coffee, I want hot chocolate! No vegetables for me, can I have some candy? Steak? Screw you mister, gimme a cheeseburger. Yes, I do want the pancakes with the smiley face on it—do you have a problem with it? What happened to my cut up fruit? I'm supposed to eat it whole? You monster.   

Why can't I watch "The Little Mermaid"? WHAT DO YOU MEAN MERMAIDS AREN'T REAL? 

Can you buy me a book? Yes, the one with the pictures. Yes, there are unicorns in it. WHAT DO YOU MEAN UNICORNS AREN'T REAL? 

Why can't I have the notebook with Spider-Man on it? He gets to have it! So what he's in third grade? I'm only in ninth! Well, fine. Can I get the Iron Man pencils, then? Why not?

Mom, leave me alone, they're having a Kim Possible marathon. I can't miss this. Shopping? For what? Clothes? What for? I'm not naked or anything. 

Yes, I do want to buy this My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic toy set. No, it's not for my little siblings or cousins. It's for me. 

Dad. I've told you already. I don't wanna go to the Great Mall. I want to go to Chuck E. Cheese. Buy me a cake there.

Crushes? Isn't that a soda?

Do I like boys? Of course I do. Who? Why, there's hundreds of them; Ron Stoppable, Eugene (A.K.A. Flynn Rider), Shang, Kristoff—Oh, I like girls too! ...Like, like? What's the difference?

What're doing, Mom? Oh, buying me a shirt? Cool, can I see—THAT'S A SHIRT? WHAT THE HELL IS A BRA, THEN? THOSE ARE PANTS?

Mom. Dad. Gimme back my wolf, pegasus, Thumper, Simba, white tiger, seal, My Littlest Pet Shop kitty, Bolt, bear, chihuahua, orange tiger and Marie back. Yes, I do want to keep them. Dad, you're holding Thumper upside down. He says it's hurting him. 

Geez.

Stop.

Just stop.

Give it back. Come on. Gimme back my childhood.

I'm not ready.

I don't want to grow up. 

Not just yet. 

Please, just let me be a kid for now. 

Just for a bit longer.