I Loved You Even You Left

Bitter Awakening

Ellie had never felt so weak, so fragile in her life. But now, she was better. She could breathe easier, her body no longer shuddering with fever, and the coughs that once ripped through her chest had disappeared into a dry rasp. But the recovery wasn't easy. It wasn't just about getting better physically - it was about everything that had happened. Pain in the form of abandonment, heartache in the form of realizing that it was the person, at least she thought so, who was supposed to care for her when no one else did.

It hadn't taken medicine or sleep for Liana's work. It had taken much more than that: it had taken Liam's sister rushing over the moment she'd heard about Ellie's condition, finding her feverish and delirious in bed. Without any hesitation, Liana had stepped up and called the doctor, made sure Ellie drank plenty of fluids, and checked on her every couple of hours. It was Liana's gentle ministrations that had given Ellie a second lease on life. It was Liana who had stayed by her side, when Liam. when Liam had nowhere to be seen.

Ellie didn't know if she could ever look at Liam in the same light again. The image of him out partying, quite clearly oblivious to her pain, had really inscribed itself on her memory. She knew it wasn't just the sickness that hurt-it was the abandonment. The betrayal felt like a fever's sharpness.

But now, sitting there on the couch, with a hot cup of tea in her hands, as Liana sat beside her, giving a sense of comfort, she started wondering if she was tougher than she had perceived. The physical pain was over, but emotional scars needed time to heal.

"How do you feel now?" Liana's gentle voice crept through her thoughts.

Ellie looked up at her, her gaze tired but grateful. "Better. Much better. I don't know what I would've done without you," Ellie whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

Liana smiled, brushing a lock of hair away from Ellie's face. "I'm just glad you're okay. You shouldn't have had to go through that alone. But.

Ellie nodded slowly. She could feel the weight of the unsaid words hanging in the air between them. "I don't know what is happening with Liam," she said, starting to speak about this. "He. he hasn't been here. He has been out with his friends, and I. I don't know if I can continue doing this. I don't know how much more I can endure.

Liana's expression softened as she reached for Ellie's hand, gently squeezing it. "I know he's your boyfriend, but nobody deserves to be treated like this. You deserve better, someone going to be there for you, Ellie. Someone to show up when you need them, not just when it's the right time for them.

Ellie's eyes welled up with tears and she promptly wiped them away. "I just don't understand Liana. He promised me. He promised."

"Yes," Liana continued quietly, allowing her voice to fill with empathy. "And sometimes, people don't keep their promises. You deserve better than this, Ellie."

Ellie said nothing. The quiet, still air in the room allowed her to think back on everything-everything she had been through in the past weeks. The loneliness, the confusion, the desperation. It had hurt so much to feel abandoned, to feel like she was nothing more than an afterthought to the one person who should have been her rock. But Liana's words settled deep within her, and for the first time in a while, Ellie felt like there was hope. Maybe she didn't need Liam to be okay. Maybe it was time for her to find her own strength.

---

In the meantime, Liam was nowhere near the warmth of his home, or the comfort of his family. He was with his friends again, but this time, it wasn't just a bar or a nightclub. This time, they were in a seedy strip club on the edge of the city. But amidst the twinkle of the neon signs, dimmed lighting, and grinding music, Liam noticed nothing anymore. The air was grimy, half-dressed women danced on stage while the men sitting around him laughed and cracked open jokes to pass the time. It was a world far removed from the one Ellie had wanted-a world that had consumed him of late, pulled him further away from everything that mattered to him.

Hey, you're pretty quiet tonight," Mark said, nudging him with his elbow. "You okay?"

Liam nodded and smiled weakly, his mind foggy from the liquor running through his body. "Yeah, just. tired, you know?"

Mark looked unconvinced. "Tired? Man, you're here to have fun, not to be all mopey. You have to loosen up. You know how many girls are dying to talk to you?"

Liam didn't say anything. He couldn't stop thinking about Ellie. It wasn't as though he didn't care for her. Or at least, he hadn't used to. The more he thought about everything-about her illness, about the way she always seemed to need him-it became overwhelming. He didn't want to be the one to fix things all the time. He didn't want to be the one that has to sacrifice every time, not to put on hold his life. This break from Ellie felt free.

But deep inside, Liam knew he was running from something. The problem was, he just couldn't face it.
He again took a sip from his glass when his eyes locked with his phone. One unread message from Ellie.

"Liam, please. come home. I'm still not feeling well. I need you.

The message sent a pang through him, but he didn't respond right away. His eyes flickered back to the stage, to the women who were all too eager to entertain a man like him. The guilt gnawed at his insides, but he pushed it aside. He didn't want to feel guilty. He didn't want to deal with Ellie's needs right now.

"Man, are you looking at that?" Tyler, another of his friends said as he was drawing his attention to the stage. "I'd bet you that she's into you. Go talk to her"

Liam looked up at the dancer, a woman gently swaying to the beat, her eyes fixed on him. And in him was this streak of excitement, this flash of wanting everything to just go away for a second. He didn't think about Ellie or the messages she'd sent him. All he could do was feel the burning desire to be desired and admired.

"Yeah, maybe I will," Liam muttered, pushing his phone back into his pocket. He stood up, his mind spinning, and walked toward the stage, pushing aside any remnants of guilt.

---

Back at home, Ellie had found a semblance of peace in Liana's company, but the moment she received Liam's message, she felt her stomach drop.

It was short, like a distant afterthought: "Sorry, I'm out with friends. I'll be home late."

She gazed at it for a moment, the chill of the words cutting right through her heart. He was still out. He was still gone.

Liana had seen the face fall on Ellie and immediately knew. "Ellie." she started softly, "You don't need him right now. You need to take care of yourself.

Ellie did wipe at her tears. She nodded slowly. "I know. I just. I just wanted him to be here. I needed him to be here."

Liana pulled her into a comforting hug. "You don't need someone who isn't going to show up when you need them most. You're strong enough to do this on your own.

Ellie sniffled. Her throat closed up once again. "But I thought he cared. I thought he was the one. How can he do this to me?"

Liana pulled back enough to take Ellie's face in her hands. "You deserve someone who will care for you the way you care for them, Ellie. Don't let anyone make you feel like you're not worthy of that.

Ellie met Liana's gaze; the candidness in them reassured her, yet inside, she knew Liana was not far from the truth. She could no longer deny the reality now. Liam had revealed exactly who he was. And the man he had turned out to be wasn't a man Ellie was sure she could still love.

---

---

Liam did not think about Ellie once as he treated to all the feminine company in the club. It wasn't until much later, long after the night had ended, when he was cloudy with booze and the emptiness he sought to fill that he realized something. He didn't feel better. He felt nothing at all. And the hollow feeling gnawed at him, slowly catching up.

But by the time he finally realized, it was too late.

Ellie had already started walking in the direction of letting go.