Project 43: Healing

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"Bucky, for fuck's sake!" Elias growled after a quick punch. He didn't know how he was supposed to get Bucky to come out but it was starting to look like trying to knock the soldier out, just wasn't working.

For a moment, Elias could see something new behind the soldier's eyes and for the first time, he pulled his punch. Elias felt a shiver travel up his spine as he suddenly remembered what Steve had told him about getting Bucky to remember himself. He had nearly died, trying to break the pattern created in the soldier's brain.

In that split second, Elias realized that everything he was doing was just re-embursing the idea stuck inside Bucky's head. The idea of Hydra, of fighting to survive, of being the Winter Soldier. Winter would remember him not as Elias, but as Subject 43.

Elias dodged another punch headed his way and quickly motioned toward T'Challa to stop. He didn't wait for a reaction but could only imagine the confused look the king must have sent him.

"Bucky, I know what's going on in your mind right now but it's not real, not anymore," Elias said as he tried to keep himself out of reach. He was basically playing tag at that point, running backward, ducking down, and throwing himself to the side to avoid getting knocked out.

"I know you think you know who I am but I'm not the soldier. I'm Elias, I-" he continued but was cut short when one of Winter's blows hit the side of his face. As he moved out of the way, Elias was sure that he could make out just a shiver of regret on his friend's face.

"Elias Smith. Steve's my brother, your best friend."

A kick to the stomach hurt more than it was supposed to. Elias felt at least one of his ribs crackling under the force of the thick combat boot. For a moment he allowed himself to think about whatever organ the rib pieces were pushing against that time. Lung or liver, what did it really matter anymore when they had both been beaten enough times for Elias to know it wouldn't lead to anything?

"Bucky you are in Wakanda. You are safe."

Hesitation. His fist was hovering in the air above Elias' face as the soldier took quick, shallow breaths. His eyes darted around frantically trying to make sense of everything around him.

Bucky didn't punch.

"This is not Hydra."

It was like his eyes had been opened for the first time. Bucky's eyes shot wide open as he hastily scrambled away from Elias, looking around the room before returning his gaze back to his friend. There was a lot of pain behind his eyes and like an avalanche, it was trying to come out.

"Shit," Bucky almost whispered as he took his face into his hands in frustration. Elias could almost see the tears threatening to roll down his face.

Elias wanted to comfort him. He wanted to tell him that it was all okay, that he understood, that he hadn't done anything wrong. He wanted to give Bucky the same kind of relief he had just felt earlier that same day, the understanding that it could all be fixed, that he didn't have to be a soldier anymore. Still, no matter how much he wanted to, Elias couldn't do it, he just couldn't help his friend when he needed it. Instead, he just stared through his swollen eyelids as his friend was in pain.

It was like his body was fighting against it like everything Hydra put in him was pulling him away. Maybe it was because of all the memories he had just relieved, pushing him backward to a time when Hydra was in total control of him. Maybe it was because he just didn't know what to do.

"She found a way to take it away," Elias finally blurted out. The words came out louder than he meant as the air escaped his lungs.

Slowly, Bucky turned his head and Elias could see something he never believed would be possible. He saw a tear in the eye of the soldier.