our stars (Bakudeku)

painful memories

Izuku POV

I'm sitting on the couch thinking about a song I finished yesterday, The song is about my mom and all the things I wish I said,
I don't know if I want to show lida just because it's so painful for me to remember.

I grab my phone from my pocket, my finger print opens it

I click on a file labeled UNSAID EMILY and press play

First things first
We start the scene in reverse

Me and my mom had a good relationship for a long time, until

All of the lines rehearsed
Disappeared from my mind

My mom got re-married when I was in middle school,
She always went to his place

When things got loud
One of us running out

She wouldn't come home until late, when she did she would come back bruised and broken, she would yell at me for not liking her new husband, I lashed out at her, saying I was her kid and she should care for me

I should've turned around
But I had too much pride

I didn't want to let her see that I was mad
It used to be us against the word, now it was them

No time for goodbyes

After a year of marriage she moved in with him and she gave me the apartment

Didn't get to apologize

Our last fight was on Thanksgiving
We were having dinner one thing led to the next and then we started fighting

Pieces of a clock that lies broken

One week later I saw my step dad on the news
Accused of murder of inko midoria

If I could take us back, if I could just do that
And write in every empty space the words "I love you" in replace
Then maybe time would not erase me

I never got the goodbye I wanted

If you could only know I never let you go
And the words I most regret
Are the ones I never meant to leave
Unsaid Emily

My mom was my world before he came along

Silent days, mysteries and mistakes
Who'd be the first to break?

I broke down, was sent to the psych ward twice

I guess we're alike that way

He said, she said conversations in my head
And that's just where they're gonna stay forever

I kept remembering all the fights, we never saw eye to eye but we still loved each other

If I could take us back, if I could just do that
And write in every empty space the words "I love you" in replace
Then maybe time would not erase me

My family cut me off after I was at the psych ward, saying I was to mentally unstable to be around them

If you could only know I never let you go
And the words I most regret
Are the ones I never meant to leave
Unsaid Emily

I would die if it meant to see her again

If I could take us back, if I could just do that
And write in every empty space the words "I love you" in replace
Then maybe time would not erase me
If you could only know I never let you go
And the words I most regret
Are the ones I never meant to leave
Unsaid Emily

I take a shaky breath in sobbing softly

Why did she have to leave me?