Bound

Part 1

The phone rang like a bell to mark my impending death. Out of all nights for my mom to come home drunk, tonight had to be the one. I knew I shouldn't have trusted the school counselor. She was the only person I had ever spoken to about how I felt and she screwed me over.
I could hear Mom slurring her words from the kitchen. "What the heck do you want from me?" she asked as I silently prayed that it wasn't the counselor.
I heard the phone slam on the receiver and my mom screamed my dreaded birth name as she stumbled up the steps. I grabbed my bag, swung over the window sill, and dropped on top of the rusty old car my dad used to drive.
I sprinted to Jaden's house. He had always been there for me when she got drunk before. He had taken me to the hospital when she threw a lamp at me and he found me unconscious the next morning with a broken nose. I prayed he would answer this time.
I heard the Chevy rumble up the road as I sprinted around his house. I spotted him through the window with headphones on, no doubt listening to Eminem.
I reached out to pound on the window when an arm reached from behind me. It grabbed my hair and threw me to the gravel. My moms face stood above me, rage filled and terrifying. "You'll never be a boy. You're a girl you little faggot. You have boobs. I don't care how messed up you are but you will never be a boy. You're not my child anymore. I hope you end up like your sister you tranny freak."
She gave a few last blows to my face and side, blood spilling into my eyes and mouth. I couldn't move, I hurt too much. The emotional pain was worse than anything she could've ever done to me physically. I didn't even fight it when unconsciousness swam through my mind.
I woke up later, around dusk. My mind felt as if a bowling ball were sitting there in place of my brain. The dried blood had sealed one of my eyes shut and the other was so swollen I could barely see.
Standing up proved to be harder than I thought. My first step sent me tumbling to the ground again. I stumbled to the rickety screen door and knocked, praying that he would hear it this time.

     "Oh my god are you okay?" He asked as I swayed in his doorway. I collapsed into his arms and tears burned out of my swollen face. I hadn't cried in years. It always made me feel weak and less masculine. This time though, it was like I was finally feeling for the first time. Yeah, it sucked, but pain is better than nothing I guess.
     I sad on the edge of his bed with an icepack covering my face. He had helped to clean up the blood from my forehead but the wound was still somewhat fresh and it stung every time I blinked.
     He hadn't asked any questions yet, which I was grateful for, but I knew they would be coming soon. I had no idea what to say. If I told him the truth and he hated me, I would have absolutely nowhere to stay, but if I lied to him he probably wouldn't believe me. Eventually, I broke down and told him the truth.

     "So," he said, "you want to be a boy?"
     "I don't want to be a boy. I am a boy. My body just doesn't match that." He got up and walked out of the room without saying anything.

     I sat on the edge of his bed, dumbfounded. The throbbing in my head had gotten worse and rain pattered on the roof outside. I had to find somewhere to stay because obviously I couldn't go home or stay here.
     I got up to leave and the world spun around me. I tumbled to the floor with a thud. When I stood up again, Gabe was returning to the room. He was carrying a stack of what looked like clothes.
     "I'm gonna go," I said as I pushed past him, "sorry."
     "Wait, don't leave. I'm not mad. Just come back to my room and I'll explain."
     I walked back to his creaky room as he laid down the clothes, along with a pair of hair cutting scissors. They were his old clothes and he told me I could have any of the ones I wanted.
     "Why are you helping me?" I asked as I tried on a pair of basketball shorts. He was looking the other direction.
     "Dude, I don't care if you want a dick or vagina. Just as long as your personality is the same I'll be your friend."
     The rest of the night was spent watching tv and eating leftover McDonald's. He tried to convince me to go to a hospital because I probably had a concussion, but I hated hospitals ever since my dad died. They brought back all the memories of chemo and vomiting and surgery only to be told he would die anyways.
     I refused to go, no matter what happened. I couldn't stand the memories. The last time I went only brought back the trauma of hearing the words "He probably won't make it through the night. You need to prepare yourselves." He never even got to know me as I really am. He only knew me as the girl I was born as.
     Jaden's dad came home that night around midnight, with his girlfriend, Esmerelda. She has a total stripper name, I know, but she's also a hairdresser. Gabe explained the situation and she had me sit down while she gave me a haircut.
     The relief I felt when the hair fell away from my shoulders was unbelievable. It was like the first step was being taken to being myself. It was like I was taking my first breath after being held underwater for my whole life.
     That night, I let myself cry for the second time that day, but this time it was a cry of relief. Someone finally accepted me for who I was. They accepted me as Gabe, the boy who nobody saw.