Lethal Lilac

CHAPTER 1

Frightened?

Nakatitig ako sa ceiling ng kwarto ko, iniisip lahat ng nangyari kahapon. Ang mga imahe ng mansion, ng mga guards, at ang malalim na katahimikan ng bawat hakbang ko habang papasok ako. But it was all just noise. Everything was distant, like I was watching myself from the outside.

I didn’t even bother to sit up when the door opened, its hinges groaning in protest. A figure entered, a servant dressed in the usual maid uniform. I guessed she was around her mid-twenties, pero wala akong pakialam kung sino siya.

She placed a tray of food on the bedside table. I glanced at it, but it felt like I was looking at something from another life, another version of me. Everything felt so far away. It was like I was existing but not living.

"Would you like anything, my lady?" she asked, voice gentle as she curtsied, her eyes trained on me. I almost wanted to laugh at the formality, but nothing inside me felt funny. I simply stared at her, letting the silence stretch between us.

I wanted to ask something. Something about yesterday. But it came out blank, like I couldn’t summon the words properly. “Bakit, hindi ko nakita ang lalaki kahapon? I heard his voice... I’m sure of it.” My voice felt hollow, empty, as if I were speaking from someone else's mouth.

The maid didn't respond right away. She stood there for a moment, her head tilting slightly, eyes scanning me, probably trying to figure out if I was asking seriously or if I was... lost.

“He’s... not here yet, my lady. Perhaps you’ve heard him from another part of the mansion,” she answered softly, almost hesitant, but there was nothing in her tone that made me feel anything.

I nodded, but the truth was, I didn’t care. Whether he was here or not didn’t matter. I wasn’t afraid, or at least I didn’t feel afraid. It was strange how little I could feel. I was in this mansion, surrounded by its chilling walls, its endless dark corridors, but the fear that should’ve come with it never found its way to me.

The maid seemed to notice my indifference, her eyes lingering on me for a moment longer before she quietly exited, closing the door behind her. And still, I remained unmoved, staring at the same spot on the ceiling.

Baka nga, wala nang takot sa akin.

I wasn’t sure how long I lay there. Time seemed irrelevant in the mansion—stuck in an endless loop, like the seconds and minutes didn’t matter. I tried to lift my hand to touch the food on the tray, but it was hard, like my body was too heavy. It wasn’t pain. It wasn’t discomfort. It was simply... nothing.

Eventually, I pulled myself up and swung my legs off the bed. I stood up, my feet making soft, muted sounds on the cold floor. My pajamas brushed against my skin, but the chill didn’t faze me.

I didn’t know what I was looking for. A way out? A reason to feel something?

Wala. Walang pumapasok na emosyon.

I walked slowly to the window and pulled the heavy curtains aside. Ang dilim sa labas ay tila nagpapasama sa pakiramdam ko, para bang sinusubukan kong hanapin ang aking sarili sa kawalan. The night was dense, as if the stars themselves were hiding behind the thick clouds, giving no light. I looked at the mansion’s sprawling grounds, but all I could see was an empty field leading to even more darkness.

I stayed there for a while, staring out at nothing. The silence of the mansion wrapped around me like a suffocating blanket, pressing in from all sides, but I didn’t care.

There was a voice in my head, but it wasn’t mine. A whispering thought that lingered longer than it should. It was almost like a warning, but it wasn’t strong enough to make me react.

"Frightened?"

The voice was distant, but it was there. It felt almost like an echo, bouncing off the walls of my mind.

But I wasn’t frightened. Not really. I didn’t even know what fear felt like anymore. I had lost that long ago.

I glanced back at the door, half-expecting someone to enter. The thought passed quickly, and I returned my gaze to the empty space outside.

The voice, the question... it hung in the air, lingering. I could almost imagine the figure asking it, someone waiting just outside my reach. But it was just a thought, one that didn’t make me shiver.

I didn’t move, didn’t blink. Ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko, ang lahat ng naiisip ko—lahat ng iyon ay malayo. At ang sakit, wala akong nararamdaman.

And for a second, I questioned if I ever would.

“Frightened?”

The words didn’t feel real. And maybe, that was the scariest thing of all.

Frightened?