Lethal Lilac

CHAPTER 8

Walls

The mansion was quiet, save for the occasional rustle of leaves from the gardens. The days bled into each other, and I drifted through them as if I wasn’t truly alive. Parang anino lang ako sa malaking bahay na ito—walang emosyon, walang direksyon, parang lahat ng kulay ng mundo ay nawala na. I went through the motions, like an actor performing a role, never fully present. Everything felt far away, as though I was watching my own life from a distance.

Huminga ako ng malalim, closing my eyes.

I had settled on the veranda again, my only refuge in this cold, unyielding place. Nakatitig lang ako sa kalangitan na kulay abo. Even the sky seemed as empty as I felt. The numbness hadn’t left—it had rooted itself so deeply within me that I began to wonder if I had always been this way.

“Lilac.”

His voice startled me. I blinked, the haze clearing for a fleeting second. He stood in the doorway, his tall figure framed by the dim light from inside. His presence was commanding yet nonchalant, as if he was in control of everything, including the air I breathed.

I didn’t respond. My gaze fell back to the horizon, hoping he would leave, but I heard his footsteps approach.

“You’ve been like this for days.” His voice was calm, but there was an edge to it, like he was holding something back.

Hindi pa rin ako nagsalita. I felt him stop a few steps behind me. The silence stretched between us, heavy and thick.

“You’re shutting me out again.” His words were quiet, almost like an observation, but there was a trace of frustration in his tone.

Narinig ko ang pagbuntong-hininga niya, and then he moved closer. This time, he crouched down beside me. His sudden proximity made the numbness flicker, but I refused to let it show.

“You’re like a ghost, Lilac,” he said, his voice lower now, almost intimate. “Walking, breathing, but not living. Do you think I don’t notice?”

I tightened my grip on the railing, but still, I said nothing.

“Say something,” he urged gently. “Anything. Scream, yell at me if you want to—but don’t just sit there like this.”

I turned my head slightly, enough to catch a glimpse of his face. His brows were furrowed, his jaw tight. He was trying to hold something back.

“Why does it matter?” I whispered finally, my voice hoarse from disuse.

That seemed to catch him off guard. His eyes flickered with something I couldn’t quite place—anger? Pain? Or something else entirely?

“Because it does,” he said firmly. “I don’t need a reason to care, Lilac. I just do.”

Parang tumigil ang oras. The weight of his words hung between us, heavy and confusing. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman, o kung may nararamdaman pa nga ba ako.

He reached out, his hand hovering just above mine. He didn’t touch me, but the warmth of his presence was undeniable. “You think I don’t see the walls you’ve built around yourself?” he asked, his voice soft yet piercing. “I see them, Lilac. I feel them every time I look at you. But do you think walls can stop me?”

I stared at him, lost for words. His gaze was steady, unwavering, and it felt like he was looking right through me—past the numbness, past the emptiness.

“You can push me away all you want,” he continued, his voice dropping to a whisper, “but I’m not going anywhere.”

Bago ko pa maproseso ang mga sinabi niya, tumayo siya. He looked down at me, his expression unreadable but not unkind.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he said quietly. “But remember this, Lilac—no matter how high you build your walls, someone will always try to climb them.”

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving me alone on the veranda. His footsteps faded into the distance, but his words echoed in my mind, refusing to leave.

No matter how high you build your walls, someone will always try to climb them

I sat there for what felt like hours, staring at the horizon. I didn’t understand him. I didn’t understand why he cared, why he stayed. But for the first time, I felt the tiniest crack in my walls, and it scared me more than anything else.

Because if someone could climb those walls… what would they find on the other side?