Dear M

Chapter 4: People... right?

The next morning, she was one of those people who had no idea what had really happened. Everything felt confusing, except for one memory that remained clear: his gaze in that moment. She didn't know why she had done what she did, whether it was the alcohol clouding her judgment or something deeper, but it haunted her. A whirlwind of guilt and shame enveloped her, a shadow she couldn't shake. She still had no idea how Mauro had reacted to the decorations in his room or how he felt about it. After everything that had happened, all she could do was hide.

She could hear the party continuing without her, everyone singing the classic "Happy Birthday" and laughing at the idea of smashing the cake into Mauro's face. But she wasn't there. She was hidden away in an empty room, alone, dealing with the consequences of what had just happened. Time stretched on, each second feeling like an eternity. She only felt like she could breathe again when the laughter died down, leaving the house in silence. Cautiously, she peeked out, making sure the party was over and that Mauro and his friends had left. Finally, she came out of hiding, each step weighed down with a mix of shame and regret.

There were people asleep on the same beanbag where she had been minutes before, when she heard voices upstairs; it was coming from his room. She could hear the classic "Surprise!" and there she was, downstairs, trying to escape.

"Why do I always do this?" she thought as she stared at the door in front of her, dimly lit by the soft light in the living room. "Why, when something falls apart, is my first impulse to run away?" She was aware that she was escaping, that once again, instead of facing the consequences, she was simply turning around and disappearing. She didn't know if alcohol was to blame or if, deep down, she was looking for an excuse to act in a way she never would have allowed herself.

She remembered the way she had looked at him, that mix of surprise and something more... something she didn't want to admit. "What was going through my head? Why did I dare?" It was an act she never imagined she would perform, and now, there she was, torn between staying and facing it all or slipping away in silence, leaving messages to fill the void she would leave behind. "Maybe it's easier this way," she thought, "to avoid questions, to avoid what hurts." But she also knew that running away wouldn't erase what she had done.

Taking a deep breath, her trembling hand reached for the doorknob, and she closed her eyes. Perhaps this would be the last time she saw him, at least like this. And even though the thought pained her, she preferred it that way. "I'm not going to stay to watch everything crumble," she decided as she opened the door, stepping outside where the cold night air hit her like a shock, almost as cold as the distance she now felt between them.

Mauro and Eric had both sent Mary several messages, since she had simply disappeared, and they had no idea where she was. The last time either of them had seen her was on that couch during the party. Mauro, on one hand, was relatively calm; he thought maybe it had just been another good time together, nothing out of the ordinary. Eric, however, was going through hell. He didn't understand what had happened. Did he like Mary? What had that meant to her? But worst of all was Mauro's expression. He felt terrible, and since Mary wasn't replying to his messages, he decided to text Mauro.

—Hey, let's meet on Monday, at the park before class,— Eric wrote, nervous.

—Sure," Mauro replied.

Just a "sure"? Wow, now I get why girls overthink things, Eric thought, feeling overwhelmed.

Monday arrived, and before class, Eric was already in the park, pacing and practicing what he would say. Suddenly, he saw Mauro approaching, greeting him with a raised hand from afar. The closer he got, the more nervous Eric felt, unsure of how to start. But Mauro, who seemed to understand everything without needing words, broke the silence with a slight smile.

—Relax, Eric. We can talk, no need to get all worked up,— Mauro said, crossing his arms calmly. —I felt weird about what happened too, okay?

Eric took a deep breath and nodded, as if that unspoken permission gave him the courage to speak.

—Look, Mauro, I don't know what happened, honestly. That night... I was confused, and with Mary...— he trailed off, looking Mauro in the eyes.

—I know she's your friend, and the last thing I want is to mess things up between the two of you.

Mauro nodded, listening carefully.

—I get it, Eric. But she's just a friend, so don't worry, what happened, happened. And in the end, it's not like I'm mad at you. I just want everything to be okay between us,

Mauro replied sincerely.

Eric, relieved, gave a slight smile.

—I really appreciate that. I just... I don't want her to feel like I left her alone or for things to be awkward between the three of us.

Mauro nodded, thinking of a way to help his friend, who was clearly going through an internal conflict, when suddenly the bell rang.

—Don't worry, Eric. Now that we've cleared things up, it's time to head to class. You'll see, Mary will understand too—I'll go check on her after class.

Both of them smiled, feeling more at ease, and started walking together toward the school, leaving the weight of the conversation behind and feeling more at peace with the situation.

Meanwhile, Mary stayed holed up in her room. No one was forcing her to go out or worrying about her, so it felt like a holiday, except she actually had class, just like everyone else. During those days, she had received several messages from Camila, Mauro, and Eric, but ignored them all.

Until one afternoon, while she was eating ice cream and watching Gossip Girl, she heard the doorbell. She went to answer with tear-stained eyes from the episode, and saw him. It was Mauro.

—Can I come in?" Mauro asked, his voice steady but direct.

She nodded silently, stepping aside to let him in. They walked to the living room, where the TV was still on. They sat down, leaving a small space between them.

—About what happened...— she began, her voice trembling. —Mauro, I honestly don't know what happened that night. I was tired and confused, and I just...— she looked down, embarrassed. —I'm really sorry.

Mauro listened without interrupting, and when she finished, he let out a sigh.

—Mary, I'm not mad, just surprised,— he said, choosing his words carefully. —It's just that... I never saw you as that kind of girl. To me, you've always been...— he paused, struggling to express his feelings without offending her. —One of the quiet ones.

Mary looked at him, feeling the sincerity in his eyes. And although Mauro's words were kind, a small pang of sadness crossed her. She felt completely confused.

—I know you're not mad, but I am, not at you, at myself. You're right, I'm not usually like that, but it happened."

—Is it because you like him?— Mauro teased, giving her a friendly nudge.

Mary fell silent for a moment. She had considered that possibility too, but in those days off, she'd had time to reflect and realized that she'd barely shared any real moments with Eric, and she needed a genuine connection to feel something real. So, for the first time in a long while, she simply said:

—No.

That was all. No jokes, no explanations. Silence filled the space between them.

—Are you upset with him?" Mauro asked, watching her carefully.

—No, not really. I just... don't want to see him for a while; it's awkward.

Mauro noticed in her eyes how much it affected her. Unsure how to ease the tension, he stepped forward and hugged her in silence

—Nothing that time won't fix— he murmured softly.

As he held her, Mauro felt his pulse slowly calming. But at the same time, a chill ran down his back at the thought of how his friendship with both of them might change; he might have to divide his time.