Dear M

chapter 4: your what?...

I never mentioned anything to M about my family, at least not at the beginning. It was an unspoken agreement, a fragile kind of balance we had built together. He didn't share intimate details about his life either, and that felt fair. We stayed on safe ground, never diving too deep into the murky waters beneath. But like with all delicate balances, something eventually disrupts it.That something came one afternoon, after school, out of nowhere. M, with his usual easy-going stride, fell into step beside me, throwing out questions like they were harmless. "What do girls like?" he asked, his tone light, almost innocent. At first, I didn't think much of it. I gave him generic answers, as any friend would. "Flowers, chocolates... you know, the usual." It was the standard, what everyone says girls like. What I'd never received but imagined might be nice. 

He thanked me with that effortless smile of his, the kind that often seemed to hide more than it revealed. Then he dropped the bomb. 

"I'm going to get those things for my girlfriend."My steps didn't falter—not physically, at least. But my mind? It froze. It was as though my body continued moving forward while my thoughts lagged miles behind.

—"Your girlfriend?" I asked, unable to mask the surprise. When did this happen, and how had I not known? Not that I needed to know, but M and I talked about everything, didn't we?My question wasn't born of jealousy, not even curiosity. It was the realization that something didn't quite fit, like a piece of his life had slipped by me unnoticed. I'd grown so used to being the person he confided in, the one he came to. The idea that he had a whole world outside of me felt... strange. Like I'd just discovered there was an entire chapter of his life that I had no access to.

—"Yeah, I didn't mention it, did I?" He grinned, as if it didn't really matter. Just another small detail, something secondary in the conversation. But for me, it was as if someone had added a new puzzle piece without warning.I nodded, trying to sound casual. 

 —"No, you hadn't mentioned it.

—"Ah, right. I'm like one of those characters in TV shows who suddenly reveals an evil twin brother in the last season. Surprising, but also kind of predictable, don't you think?"

 — Gravity Falls?

 —Yeah

"The conversation carried on like normal. M kept talking about his girlfriend—how they met, how they'd hung out a couple of times outside of school. I listened, offering comments here and there, but my mind was still trying to catch up with the shift.

 Something in the air between us felt different now, though I couldn't quite put words to it. Maybe it was the faint crack in my trust in our friendship, or maybe it was the sudden realization that I didn't know him as well as I thought.And for the first time, I wondered if he felt the same way about me.