- You... seriously chose that?! - the goddess bursts into laughter, nearly doubling over. - You couldn't find anything better? LOL! Honestly, even Sock Teleportation would've been less pathetic than this... cow dung of a power! She claps her hands, tears forming in the corners of her eyes from laughing so hard.
This smug brat... She's pushing me to my limit. I ball up my fists, ready to knock that smirk off her face, but I stop myself. She's a goddess. A girl. You can't just hit a goddess or a girl... right? Fine. Whatever. The cards were trash anyway, and this was the best of the lot. Not my fault.
- Oh, forgive me! Of course, you didn't mean to pick the lamest power imaginable.
I glare at her, tapping my foot impatiently on the floor.
The goddess waves me off, still giggling. - Oh, come on, don't be so grumpy! I'm just teasing you. It's not that bad... Okay, maybe it is. But hey, it's your fault, not mine! - She sways her head playfully from side to side, clearly enjoying herself.
Then, as if flipping a switch, her tone changes. - Alright, jokes aside. Time to get serious. - She strides toward a small table and chair that materialize out of nowhere.
I blink, confused. - Huh? What do you mean, serious?
She sighs, rubbing her temple like she's dealing with an idiot. - We're sending you to another world, genius. Keep up.
- Oh! Right, right! Finally, some action! - I straighten up, excitement bubbling in my chest.
- Alright, here's the deal, - she says, gesturing for me to come closer. - Stand right in front of me and don't move. Got it?
I nod sharply, standing at attention like a soldier. - Yes, ma'am! Understood!
- Pfft... - She stifles a laugh. - Alright then.
She raises her hands slowly, palms up, as if summoning some unseen force. Her expression shifts, becoming oddly serene.
- Oh, great deity, hear my prayer! Please grant this... unfortunate soul a second chance. I know he's an idiot, a total loser, and honestly not someone you'd want to rely on...
My face flushes with rage. Veins bulge on my forehead as I grit my teeth, but I hold myself back. She's doing the ritual. Punching her now wouldn't help. Probably.
And yet, she continues, her voice dripping with fake sincerity. - But, despite all that, he's a good person. Well, sort of. If you close your eyes, hold your nose, and plug your ears... maybe he's even wonderful! Please, grant him this second life!
She finishes her dramatic plea with a flourish, lowering her hands. - Alright, the prayer's done. Don't move now - though you can talk if you really want to.
- Hey! - I growl, glaring at her. - What kind of nonsense was that?!
She tilts her head innocently. - What? I was just telling the truth.
- You... ugh. Whatever. No point arguing. - I sigh, feeling utterly defeated.
Suddenly, tiny white particles begin swirling around us, dancing in the air like glowing fireflies.
- Whoa... what's happening? - I ask, keeping my head still but darting my eyes around.
- It's time. You're leaving. Goodbye, streamer! - she waves cheerfully, her grin stretching wide.
- Wait, what?! Already?!
She doesn't answer, instead shouting with sudden urgency. - Oh, one more thing! You can't die. Like, ever. If you do, there's no respawning, no retries! Got it?!
Her words hit me like a slap to the face.
- You're kidding... - I mutter, tears welling up in my eyes. - This isn't heaven at all...
Her expression softens slightly. - No, really. Please don't die. That would... really suck.
The glowing particles multiply, engulfing me in a radiant storm. The goddess's figure begins to blur, her voice fading into the light.
- You were the funniest person to ever end up here, you know. - Her voice sounds oddly genuine now, almost wistful. - I hope someday you'll be strong enough to beat me.
I stare at her, my thoughts spinning. - What kind of love story is this?!
Before I can say anything, I blink - and suddenly I'm face-to-face with two snarling goblins.
- What the-?!
A voice snaps me out of my daze.
??? - What are you doing?! We agreed to take them down together, you idiot!
I turn my head to see a human figure, maybe an elf-struggling against a goblin's attack. His face is partially obscured by the chaos, but his voice is full of panic.
??? - Agh, do something, moron!
- W-what...? - I stammer, trying to process what's happening.
I glance down at myself, realizing I'm already in mid-combat. My brain kicks into overdrive. - Okay, okay, I'm in the game. I need to check my inventory. How do I open my inventory?
Looking at my wrist, I notice a glowing, holographic watch. The interface is too bright to make out clearly, but just as I try to figure it out, something materializes in front of me...
