Read this because I'm lonely

I literally scared myself out of SH-ing

I scared myself out of self harming 

For a while at least

Because of this bitch I named Samantha 

I was cutting with a blade this time (usually use a pin) 

And I thought I'd don't four cuts but no it was like 20

But anyway

I was like just getting into it, 

I hadn't really relieved anything yet because I was GETTING INTO IT

But then Samantha appeared

And I was like OH- 

SAMANTHA IS DEEP

id show you Samantha but I'd get suspended again

But she's very deep

I didn't really feel her

The only times she hurts me is when something hits my leg

The rest of the time she's just an irritation

I'm not scared of the pain or being in danger, I'm scared of the infection 

Because that means parents finding out

I was about to cut deeper

But I did not

Because I almost had a panic attack (luckily I saved myself kinda) 

I was literally shaking for like 20 mins 

Or more

I was terrified 

My parents came to piss and I had tk get the fuck out with all my bloody tissues

So I'm gonna be clean for a while now

Gotta look after Samantha.