Saving Me

Chapter Two: Life's Hard

Seth and I walked down the street that was a couple blocks away from our school. We talked a bit about the new kids and I found out their names. The curly-haired one is Harry, the one with blackish hair is Zayn, the one who wore stripes is Louis, the blonde one is Niall, and the one with the buzz cut is Liam. Seth was in the office when they walked in so he overheard their names.

I wanted to get some ice cream, so we headed over to the ice cream parlor that was at the end of the block. When we walked in, I ordered a double scoop of mint chocolate chip in a cup. Seth ordered the same except he got his in a cone. As we waited, I looked at the clock and realized we would be halfway through fifth period now. We had been gone from school for two hours already?! Wow, walking sure passes time quickly.

Fifth period was my lunch and usually I always left with my few friends, Seth included. We always went to the beach for lunch because it was better than being trapped in hell - I mean school.

But today was better than most days, for one thing I didn't get hit with anything and I didn't have to hear my various amounts of names. At least not yet anyways.

As we got our ice cream and made our way to the door. I heard some people snickering behind me. I turned around and shot them a glare. I soon realized I'd seen them around my school.

"What's so funny?" I asked them.

"We just love seeing an emo couple wallow in each other's depression. It's so sickening." They all started laughing again, drawing attention to themselves.

"Whatever," I said as I walked away. Once we were outside Seth asked me if I was okay and how I had been doing.

"I'm fine, don't really have a lot of 'new' things to tell. But last night I slaughtered my thighs because I felt pathetic and worthless. I wasn't able to get him off me. My father hit me until I was basically unable to move or comprehend anything. He pinched my muscles down so they'd go numb before he made his way inside me. The pain of his thrusting just repeated over and over again. I just laid their numb, hollow, wishing for it all to end. My mom walked out last night and I haven't seen her since. I'm just hoping she isn't passed out drunk somewhere." I stated with a nonchalant tone. Seth stopped me in my tracks with a hug. I hugged him back with everything left in me.

"So what about you?" I asked him after I broke off the hug. He shrugged and just looked ahead. I thought he was just going to ignore me but then he spoke.

"My mom drank three bottles of wine last night," was all he said. I knew what happened and I didn't need any more information. His mom used him, again, to satisfy her needs of not having a husband. She used him probably more that night than she ever has before, just because of how much she drank.

"Seth, I'm really sorry. I wish I could just make all your pain go away." I said as we kept walking. "You don't deserve this. You should really tell someone what she's doing."

"Why are you giving me advice that you don't even listen to?" Seth retorted. He was irritated with me and I didn't blame him.

"That's what I'm good at, giving advice that I know I can't and never will take. Besides, do as I say, not as I do." I looked up into his pale eyes as they stared angrily ahead, and off into the distance.

We got back to the school and I went straight into my sixth period class, biology, great. And just to add to my luck, all five of the new kids were in this class. Everyone eyed me as I came in five minutes late.

"Where have you been Ms. Smitt?" Mr. Smith asked.

"Sorry, sir, I came late from lunch. It won't happen again, sir." I lied. If there was one thing I didn't mind about this hell of a school, it was Mr. Smith. He was always on my side.

"Alright, please take your seat, Elodie," and with that I walked over to my seat. I just happened to be so lucky as to be sitting next to, oh, what was his name, the boy with the stripes? Umm, Louis! Right, Louis... This should be interesting.

I sat down without any contact towards him but soon enough he spoke.

"Hi, my name's Louis. It's nice to meet you." he whispered to me.

I greeted him with a small, fake smile and turned back to face the front. Mr. Smith was going over notes that we already took for the boys so they could catch up. In the mean time, I sat on the cold, hard stool and braided and unbraided my long, jet black hair. Every once in a while my sleeves would ride up and I'd have to shove them down a bit too quick. A couple times I saw Louis eye me, wondering what I was doing. I'd just mumble that I was cold.

Eventually we got started on a project that involved mixing chemicals. I was kinda excited until I found out our partners were the person we sat next to. I looked over to see Louis already getting on the lab gear (eye googles, a lab coat, and gloves). I walked over and grabbed the appropriate gear as well.

I hardly said anything to Louis, just followed the instructions we were given, until we needed to put our finished project on the rack to dry.

"Can't you just walk over there and put it on the rack?" I asked.

"No, Harry needs me." And he walked over to Harry. I sighed and grabbed the beaker and made my way over to the rack. As I got into the middle of the aisles, someone tripped me and I dropped the beaker. Laughter errupted from the class as glass went everywhere; immediately I started picking up all the pieces. I noticed there was someone else helping me get the pieces.

"I don't need help, I can pick this up on my own." I spat.

"But it would be quicker if I helped." An Irish accent stated.

I looked up and saw deep blue eyes staring at the ground gathering pieces. This was Niall, the only boy whose eyes I didn't get to see.

"It's my mess and I can clean it up." I shot back.

"If you would stop being so damn stubborn, a) your hand wouldn't be bleeding and b) the glass would be all cleaned up."

I was slightly dumbfounded by what he said and just kinda sat there. I looked around and found a bigger chuck of glass; I quickly snatched it up and shoved it in my pocket. I slid the glass I had gotten into a pile over to Niall.

"Then you clean it up." I spat back. I ran towards the door and shoved it open, making my way to the bathroom. All the kids laughter still in my head, I can hear the names already, "clumsy ass" and "dumb bitch" will be added to the list. I got to the sink and rinsed off the glass from my pocket. I threw open the stall door, slammed it shut and locked it. I sat on the floor for a minute, letting everything from my life sink in. I replayed every memory from my fucked up life and began to press the glass hard into my skin. I felt the sting of the glass opening deep wounds into my arm, the blood beginning to drip out. The pain was enough to take my mind off my current situation, but i didnt want to stop. I made about tweleve more deep, oozing gashes on my arm, then unlocked the stall and ran my arm under ice cold water to numb it and stop the bleeding. I wrapped a bit of tissue around it, rolled up my sleeve and walked out like nothing happened. I had only been in there for twenty minutes at the most.

I pushed back open the door to Mr. Smith's class and people were still finishing their projects. I walked up to Niall and his head shot straight up. He gave me a slightly dirty look but it changed quickly into confusion.

"Thank you for you're help." I said plainly and walked back to my desk. I sat there, numb and emotionless, until the bell rang.