Hello! December!

The evening before X-mas

I was born in the 10th month of the year. I learned that the word December is derived from the latin word ‘decem’ meaning ten. But before learning this fact I was in love with December. December is my favorite month of the year. Also the funniest thing about December for me is, it is my worst month of my every fucking god damn year and the thing I can't ignore is every time at the end of the year I will be in some kind of mess which was created by me. I wasn't a guy who likes to stay in past but most of the times that's where I will be and even if don't stay in my past, something from somewhere will come up and push me into my past. Like how google photos sent me a notification stating, "Two years ago today," With a picture of me being hospitalized. Yeah! Two years before I broke my hand. Three years before my girlfriend left me and four years before I lost my job. The reason why I didn't mention what happened to me last year in December is because that's the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I feel embarrassed to share.

Still I love December,  it's like unconditional love, no matter what she did nothing could change my love towards her (I am talking about December) and she used to be very cold. There is no particular reason because according to me reasons are like doors, when you wanna leave, you will have plenty of doors ready to be opened. And I never saw a door in the room of December and even if there is a door I actually don't wanna leave. I don't know whether I have read or watched it in a movie but it goes like this, “For all your adulthood problems, your childhood is the answer.”

This obsession on December was from my childhood, Christmas festivals. No matter what happens, no matter where we are, on the day of Christmas our whole family will be in our native, watching those skits and mimes, worshipping late at night before Christmas. And eating specially cooked biryani by the church people. It was a small countryside church so they could celebrate it with love and importantly with everyone. In our church no one will feel excluded. Everyone knows each other so well. And my Mom is a faithful believer of Jesus from her childhood. Growing up in a Christian convent she became the most spiritual person on the earth I've seen. And she sings songs, she has read the bible for more than 10 times end to end and sometimes she writes her own lyrics and composes her own tune as well. To be honest, those were full of sadness and depression. So basically she is sad and famous in church. And in my village my mother is the only girl who completed a diploma. But later with the help of my Dad she completed post graduation. Whoa! They are my favorite couple. 

I hate those monkey caps that they force me to wear while going to church. It was December 24, 2004, I was just six years old. I always wanted to look cool also I am a fucking introvert. So basically I live in my head with an imaginary situation and an imaginary audience. At least I didn't have a lonely childhood. The most important thing about my December Christmas holiday is my cousins. I love to spend time with them. As my mother never allowed me to play outside, the only time I was free was when I was with the native. And nobody questioned me there because my guardian angel was holding my hand very tight whenever I created a mess, my granny. 

As a whole family we were getting ready for the 24th evening Christmas celebration. Me and Cass got ready first and we were talking outside the house. I have totally 3 cousins but Cass is my favorite because me and him share same month and year of birth where he got here earlier like five fucking days before. Sometimes he asks me to call him with respect as he was five fucking days older than me but I never gave a fuck. 

Outside our house within ten metres there was an open drainage. It was really a narrow little place between the two roads. Me and Cass went there and we started talking about whether we can jump off this drainage. As we both were six at that time, it looked like a big stunt. This Cass Motherfucker should have been silent that day. He challenged me whether I can jump off that drainage. I told you before, right, I always wanted to look cool, so I don't wanna lose. Hence I said, “This is really easy for me man but you know what I think you can't do, can you show me whether you can do it? Can you?”

That asshole immediately prepared himself to jump off the drainage. I was behind him and I know we won't make it to the other end, and trust me only for fun I pushed him, only for fun and I really thought he wouldn't fall into that drainage also this pushing from behind I thought it will give some force so that he can make it to the other side. He didn't have common sense, I mean who would think that they can make it to the other side. I mean really he was stupid. And he fell into that drainage.

Also I don't know, it's like the whole family already knows that I am gonna push him because the moment he fell into the drainage. The whole family came out running towards me. When I saw my mom’s face,I believed that was going to be my last day. But that's not the worst part of 2004 December, it was this girl who I met the very next day. 20004 December 25. And I am sorry forgot to introduce myself,  I am Dick and this my story.