The Best Way To Keep Your Heart Intact

 “Yeah, he was totally out of line. I mean, it’s one thing to do that shit to me, but to a ninth grader? That was low.”

 I was pacing around my room talking to Gabe as he ranted to me about the most recent thing the notorious Vic, bully of our school, did.

“I know! and he didn’t even stop there! He shoved him against the lockers, and just fucking walked away as if he didn’t do anything wrong at all!”

Gabe kept to himself mostly, but in no way was he shy. When he knew something was wrong, he would—

“So I ran after him and punched him square in the jaw!”

—try his hardest to fix it.

“There is no fucking way you did that, Gabe. Don’t even try it.”

“Fine, I helped the kid up and put my chewed gum onto the handle of the asshole’s locker. Happy?”

I ran down the stairs, heading to the living room. I saw my bag sitting by the sofa, so I grabbed it and put it on. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a pre-made bagel and a handful of grapes. Throughout all of this, Gabe kept talking, but I didn’t really pick up anything he was saying. That is, until he shouted my name down the phone.

“-lin? KELLIN!”

“Sorry; what?”

“I said to get your ass out here. I’m in your driveway.”

I didn’t respond, just hung up and put my phone in my pocket. He already knows what I would say anyway, “Get your fat ass out of the car and come in. I’m not bringing you a bagel today.” We go through this every morning.

I got into the car, shoving the bagel into his hands. He grinned at me and bit into it, holding it in his mouth, and sped off to school.

He pulled into his spot and turned the car off, and we got out. We walked into the building and walked to my locker. I put in the combination and got my Chemistry book out. Gabe and I were talking while I did this, all about the nonsense that ran through our heads. When the warning bell sounded, we bid each other our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

I was rounding the last corner before the Chemistry room when my view was blocked by Vic and his posse. I tried to run the other way, but they had already seen me and were coming my way. I tried in vain to pass by them, but Vic grabbed my shoulder and shoved me into a row of lockers. They all laughed at their leader’s stunt and they walked away.

Though I’d rather not come across them, I couldn’t help but be sort of happy? No, not happy; I just got shoved into a row of lockers- but content, maybe. They usually go a lot farther than that. I don’t know why they stopped, but I am most definitely not complaining.

I picked myself up, checking my bag to make sure nothing had fallen out, and, seeing nothing had, continued on my way to Chemistry.

—

I have second hour with Vic and we have Health. We’re talking about mental disorders and illnesses, and, according to Vic, I have all of them. Once we got to depression, one of his friends had the audacity to tell me that I cut, and that hit me really deep. I don’t even know why it made me feel as shit as it did, but I couldn’t stop the feeling. It went through my entire body, and overwhelmed me to the point that I could feel the tears burning my eyes.

I kept turned towards the front, trying to ignore them, but there’s only so much hate you can block out, and I could feel the tears burning my eyes. They kept on about me and started laughing and I knew this would only make all of this worse, but I picked up my bag and walked to the door, ignoring my teacher’s calls to sit back down.