𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥 ➤ 𝕛𝕖𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟

03.

December 19 [7:34 A.M]

It had been an unsuccessful, disappointing few days without work.

Chan was sitting at his desk, working on a project for SKZ LINE. He had put his head down for just a second, but couldn't stand the cold wood. He sat back up, sighing. He had put all his effort into the project, and he was almost done. He had to go back to work tomorrow to present it. He had made a PowerPoint, a product, and some other things so that he could present it successfully.

When he decided to get himself into this, he had no idea this is something he'd have to do.

Surprises happen.

Chan had had a really bad weekend outside of work. His anxiety and depression were still active constantly, reminding him of things he didn't want to be reminded of. 

He managed to finish and practice presenting his project, but it was extremely late. He had spent most of the day curled up in his bed, mindlessly scrolling.

December 20 [1:24 P.M]

Chan spent the entire day stressing over his presentation, fixing tiny mistakes he hadn't noticed so that it would be perfect.

[7:39 P.M]

It was late, well after Chan's shift had ended. But he stayed. Mostly so he could stay with Jeongin, who stayed until almost 8:30 every night.

His presentation had gone quite well.

He let his thoughts drift for a moment, but he immediately regretted that decision.

Unfortunately, the damage was done.

You're a faggot.

Nobody likes you.

Jeongin probably thinks you're weird for clinging onto him like that.

What is wrong with you?

Just kill yourself already.

Bitch.

Worthless.

Where's your blades? Get those out again.

Even if you've been clean for almost a month.

Do it.

Go home, leave Jeongin.

He probably thinks you're a stalker anyway, always staying this late.

Go on, go home and cut yourself.

You know you want to.

"Fuck," Chan murmured, shaking his head in a pointless effort to get those thoughts out of his mind.

For whatever reason, his thoughts always drifted and he had a difficult time doing anything around this time. He had to even suppress panic attacks- however the hell that worked.

Specifically when he and Jeongin were by themselves.

Jeongin's head turned and peeked out from beside his computer.

"You alright?"

"Y-yeah," Chan mumbled back, looking down.

"'Kay. Also, you did good in that presentation," Jeongin said, standing up and going to sit next to Chan after grabbing a chair.

Chan was still focused on the ground, trying to control his thoughts.

Faggot.

That was the one word that stopped him from going absolutely crazy when he was around Jeongin.

"T-thanks," Chan muttered.

"Yeah, it's fine. I was planning on going home earlier today. You don't have to stay if you don't want to," Jeongin suggested.

Chan finally looked up.

"It's fine, I-"

Chan was interrupted when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

His mom was calling.

[Caller ID: Mom]

"Shit, sorry, give me a second," Chan said, standing up and walking to the other side of the room.

"Chan, are you still a disappointment? I mean, you are anyway, faggot, but I would hope you at least have a job by now."

"Yes, Ma, I have a job. I thought I already told you? I've been working here for a week or two," Chan sighed.

"Good. You can finally live a good life? I remember you were struggling quite a bit, hm, faggot?"

"Yes, I should be able to live better as I work here longer, Ma," Chan mumbled, just wanting to get out of the conversation.

His eyes drifted as his Ma rambled about something about his father, eventually meeting Jeongin's. He looked curious, but there was also a hit of worry, and tension rested between his eyebrows.

Jeongin tilted his head, and Chan gave him a small smile in return, his Ma snapping him away.

"Did you not here me? Are you too busy making out with another faggot or something?! I told you, once you start making more money, some of that sweet paycheck of yours will be going to my bank account to support my family. Got that, faggot?

"And besides you sending money, I never want to see your face or hear your disgusting voice again, okay? Okay. No arguing," with that, his Ma hung up on him.

"I-," Chan didn't even finish whatever he was going to say. He sighed, tears threatening his eyes once again.

He walked back over to where he was sitting, planning on continuing his conversation with Jeongin without question.

Apparently not.

"Can I ask?" Jeongin spoke up, his voice slightly strained.

"Ma," Chan answered simply, tears threatening more aggressively.

"I couldn't help but overhear bits and pieces and... no, no, I swear I'm not- I'm not homophobic," Jeongin said, a slightly forced laugh coming from his mouth as well. Chan couldn't help but wonder...

I wonder what other noises that pretty mouth can make.

Chan shook his head to escape those thoughts.

"Ah... um, this is not- I wasn't planning on telling anyone anything. Sorry," Chan mumbled.

"Ah, it's okay, I'm bisexual," Jeongin said reassuringly.

"Huh?" Chan looked up, tears still in his eyes.

Jeongin's eyes softened.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry. And, genuinely, unless your mom will physically come get you and, like, torture you, or something, you shouldn't have to get her money," Jeongin continued.

Thank God he didn't mention Chan's living situation.

"Jeongin, can I be honest?" Chan mumbled sleepily, just wanting to escape to sleep, even if his insomnia often ignored his efforts.

Jeongin only nodded.

"I'm scared of her."

[ A.N ]

Hi!

I wish this chapter was at least 1.2k but it's not and people are already reading this shit so I figured let's just get another chapter out lmao

Had a dream last night where I got shot byfucking Taeil and woke up at exactly 330 am and that convinced me to publish the first two chapters of this book ??? 🤷‍♀️

Anyway have a good day! I've been a bit busy so there probably won't be an update tomorrow, I'll probably spend it working on making chapter 4 longer to make up for this chapter :)

Apparently a wattpad chapter is 2k-3k words and when I found out my jaw dropped sdofsadfiasudfowpiuh

[ 987 Words ]