Alice

17. Advice

17. Advice

I was in complete darkness. I couldn't see anything. I hated not knowing where I was or what lurked around me. I felt scared, and I wished Jack was with me.

Just as I thought of him, I heard his voice. He was calling my name.

"Alice! Alice!"

I looked around for him, and he suddenly appeared several feet in front of me.

"Alice, please forgive me," he begged. "I love you. You were only trying to help me. I'm so sorry."

Anger flared up inside me. Oh, he wants to apologize now?! He thinks he can just say "sorry" and all will be well?! I thought, outraged.

"You hurt me!" I cried. "I can never forgive you."

Suddenly, the Queen's wicked laugh echoed through the dark.

"Yes! Yes!" her voice cackled. "I knew you could be like me. Forgiveness is a weakness!" Her voice was raspy. "And now, since you obviously don't care anymore, let me get rid of this useless boy for you."

The Queen of Hearts materialized behind Jack. She lifted that horrible black dagger.

"Jack!" I cried. "She's behind you!"

"If you can't forgive me, then I have nothing left to live for," he said.

Just then, the Queen stabbed him. Blood oozed from his body. "Alice...." his voice trailed off as his eyes glassed over and he fell to the ground.

"NO!" I screamed.

I sat up in bed, the scream still on my lips. I was sweating and shaking.

The door flew open and Martha came in, a candle in her hand.

"Alice? What's wrong?" she asked.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I heard you scream," she explained.

So I had really screamed? "Was I that loud?"

"You were quite loud, but that's probably because I live just down the hall."

"Oh."

"Is anything wrong?" she asked.

"It- it was just a nightmare."

"Nightmares can be pretty scary," Martha observed.

I said nothing.

Martha set the candle down on the nightstand and sat next to me on the bed.

"You know, I was in love once. Not too long ago, actually," she said. "His name was Fredrick, a young gardener. He was handsome, funny, and kind. I felt like a princess when I was with him. We were perfect together."

"What happened?" I asked. Nothing could ever stop me from being curious.

"I knew that he loved me, because he said so every day. But I never told him how I felt. I was unsure. I didn't want to jump into anything. Now I know that I loved him more than I will ever love anybody else. I never told him that.

"One day, I made up my mind that I would tell him that I was in love with him. That very same day, the Queen beheaded him for planting white roses when she had asked for red ones. I was devastated. The only man I had ever loved was dead, without even knowing how much I'd loved him. I've never loved again."

"Martha, I'm so sorry," I said sincerely.

"I had nightmares for months afterward. I couldn't sleep. Often, I'd wake up screaming." She looked at me. "Alice, I saw you with Jack. I could see that you love each other very much. What you have is true love. Not many people have that opportunity. And once you have it, it'll never come again. Don't waste it like I did. Tell him how you feel."

"He won't listen to me," I said dejectedly. "He'll never forgive me."

"Alice, I've seen that boy grow up over the past eight years. With what he's been through, he could have let that turn him into an angry, bitter boy. But he didn't. He's too good of a person for that. And if it's one thing I know, it's that he's already forgiven you. He loves you too much to let anger get in the way. But he is hurt. And he needs you. He needs you more than anything else in the world."

Martha was right. I knew she was. "What should I do?" I wanted to know.

"You should do whatever you want to. The only thing I can do is give you this piece of advice: talk to him. Tell him that you love him. And when you do, look him in the eye, and put the utmost sincerity into your voice. Don't just say it like you mean it. Actually mean it. And I guarantee you, one hundred percent, you will kiss each other passionately and you, my sweet girl, will be the happiest woman in Wonderland."

I stared at her. "You've really thought this out," I said.

"Well, it's just what I wished had happened to me."

I hugged Martha. "Thank you so much," I said. "That's the best advice anyone could ever give me."

Martha was at first shocked, but then she hugged me back. "You're welcome, Alice."

The next morning, the Queen summoned me to the tea garden. I went reluctantly, wishing I had a poison I could slip into her tea. I felt so evil thinking that, but how could anyone think about the Queen of Hearts without some contempt?

I walked as confidently as I could into the garden and sat at the table opposite the Queen.

"Alice!" the Queen exclaimed. "So wonderful of you to join me." Her voice was too sweet, too sugary.

"Indeed," I said as cold as ice.

"How have you been?" she said cordially. I knew that she knew exactly how I'd been: in pain, screaming, crying, torn apart.

But I wouldn't show that. So all I said was, "Fabulous," just as sugary as she was.

"Why, that's fantastic dearie." She took a sip of her tea, a false smile on her lips. When she set down her cup, her face was serious. "But Alice, you don't have to pretend around me. I know how you really feel."

"Do you?" I said coolly.

"Yes, of course!" She rested her elbows on the table and leaned forward. "You're still upset because that miserable nephew of mine dumped you."

I gripped the white tablecloth angrily.

"Would you like some advice, Alice?"

"No," I growled.

She completely ignored me. "Forget all about him. Why, he doesn't deserve you. All men are useless anyways. I had one, and all he did was weigh me down. So, I got rid of him. Jack's a deadweight for you, too. Holding you down from your full potential. Tell you what. I'll get rid of him for you, and then you can be my daughter. I'll teach you everything I know, and then, you can be my successor! How about it?"

When she said that, I became so enraged, so angry, that I unintentionally yanked the tablecloth so hard, it came off the table. Teacups, saucers, and spoons clattered to the ground.

"Never!" I shrieked. "You think that you can bribe me into letting you kill him?! I would never help you!"

She chuckled. "I hate to break it to you sweetheart, but you already did. You willingly handed me back my throne."

"Only because you gave me no other choice! You're completely evil! They say that everyone, even mean people, have some good deep down inside them. But that's not true, because you don't. I can't even say that I hate you. You don't even deserve that from me." I turned and started to walk away. But then I whirled back around, and said, "Oh, and by the way? Never offer me advice again."

And with that, I walked out on the Queen of Hearts, who, for once, was utterly speechless.