This is the sequel to Heart Ain't a Brain. If you haven't, read that first!
They say don't fall in love, it's a mistake.
The trajectory of one's life can change in the blink of an eye. So what happens when a series of tragic events changes the cour...
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Raelle
I don't wanna kiss you I just wanna feel you Feel you I want you around
"This shit is nice Rae!" Kasim said as we both made ourselves comfortable on the couch in the living room. I had just given him a tour of my apartment because this was his first time seeing it furnished.
We had a meeting with a potential security company in the next hour so we were just catching up until then. I hadn't seen him since before his trip to Houston and that was two weeks ago. We still talked every day whether it was via text or FaceTime, but I missed being able to see him daily like I did when we lived in the same building.
"I'm for real proud of you Rae. You doing your big one. You been through so much shit over the past few months but you still standing. I admire the fuck outta you." Kasim said proudly, making me tear up at his kind words. He didn't know how much I needed to hear that.
I was still reeling from what I had done a couple of days ago, and I was fighting with myself internally to not do it again. I had been trying to occupy my mind as much as I could, but the temptation to cut again was strong. I felt like the first time was like taking a hit of the most potent drug, and I was ready for my next dose. The amount of control I felt coursing through my body as I did it felt gratifying.
"Thank you, Simmy," I said my voice barely more than a whisper as he stared at me. The way he was looking at me made me feel vulnerable. Or maybe exposed was the better word like it was written all over my face what I had done. I quickly looked away from his intense gaze feeling like I may shatter the longer we sat here in silence.
"You okay?" He asked, his voice soft and laced with worry. "Your energy been off since I got here. Did something happen while I was in Houston?" He inquired giving me that same look that made me feel like he was looking into the depths of my soul. We had gotten so close over the past few months that it was hard to hide anything from him. He knew me so well and was able to pick up on the slightest changes in me no matter how much I tried to hide them.
"I'm okay Kasim. Just tired." I sighed while running my hands through my recently straightened hair. This was the longest I had ever worn my hair straight which was adding to the crisis of me no longer feeling like myself. Don't get me wrong I loved to wear my hair straight, but I hadn't seen my curly hair in months which had always been my signature way of wearing it. I felt like a shell of myself, and it was taking all of my energy to hold it together long enough to get through this meeting so I could go back to being alone.
"I ain't gone push you to tell me what's wrong but I want you to know that I'm here for you aight. Ima always have your back and that's never changing okay?" He said, making a small smile curl at the corner of my lips.
"I know Sim and I appreciate you more than you could ever know," I said genuinely as a comfortable silence took over the room. The TV was playing A Different World reruns lowly in the background. This was my comfort show for so many reasons. I had found myself lately having it on while I did things around my apartment. I loved the unapologetic blackness of this show.
