With All My Heart → Transformers

Help Me

*I don't own Transformers or anything affiliated with Transformers. I only own my original characters and plots. All rights go to Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg.*

Another week has passed by yet nothing has changed for me. Everything was still the same regarding my feelings. I still had yet to talk as well. Ratchet has hypothesized selective mutism, but I thought that was pushing it a bit. Selective mutism was normally categorized as an anxiety disorder, so that was not it at all. I really just didn't want to talk to anyone and I honestly didn't think I could talk to anyone. It was almost as if I were trapped inside my own mind with no way out; I could speak inside my mind, but I could not speak outside of it.

Everyone was very worried about me, including my parents and Nathan, but I didn't know why. I mean, I was productive when I needed to be. I just didn't speak and I kind of looked like a walking corpse. I had yet to eat as well, so my skin was growing paler than it should be and I was losing just a little bit of weight. If I were fully human I probably would have been admitted into a hospital because of not eating for two weeks, but I had my Cybertronian side to thank for not letting that happen. Plus, I've been drinking water like I was supposed to do. I was certainly weaker than before and I might not have been as healthy as I should be, but I was healthy enough.

I still had yet to go to school too, and I was happy that my parents weren't forcing me to go. I didn't want to sit in a nasty building full of annoyingly loud human beings for eight excruciating hours. I'd much rather be at home in the comfort of my own room either sleeping or watching reruns of old television shows on my flat screen.

For the first time in two weeks, though, I was not in my room. Currently I was sitting in my grandpa's office at the military base here in Washington D.C. My dad came in my room this morning to say goodbye to me before he took off for work, but I stopped him from leaving. He was very confused at first, but I wrote him a little note telling him that I wanted to come with him. I thought it would be a good way for me to possibly "perk up", but I've been here all day and my mood still had yet to change from depressed to less depressed. I thought that being around the Autobots would make me feel better, so here I was. I was so wrong about it though. If anything the only thing I could think about while I was here was everything did when I came here with Ethan. I already missed training with him even though I absolutely hated training; I was going to miss sneaking in to the important and sometimes classified military meetings between the Autobots and Mearing, and I was definitely going to miss coming here and pulling pranks on the Autobots even though it was just one time.

I just wish that all of this would go away. I honestly didn't know how much more pain I could take. Never in my life have I ever had to deal with losing someone so close to me and I hoped that I would never have to do it again, at least not so soon. If I was acting like this because of my best friend's death, then I didn't want to know exactly how I would act if I ever lost my mom or my dad. I was actually scared to find out just how that would be for me. The thought of it just made me want to throw up.

With a sigh I threw the magazine to the floor. I have been in this office all day long after I realized that nothing was going to help brighten my mood. I could have asked my dad to take me home, but I didn't want to bother him while he was working. I just couldn't stand being in here any longer. It wasn't fun and there was really nothing in here for me to do except watch TV and stare out the window. It was a nice view and everything, but it was just so boring.

I got up and hurried over to the office door. It took me about two minutes to get down to the Autobot hangar. The area was bustling with workers and Autobots alike. I began looking for my father's holoform among the many humans walking around, but I didn't see him. Instead I saw his Cybertronian form standing at the very end of the room speaking with Optimus. I had no clue why they were in their true forms with all of these humans around, but I didn't care enough to actually question it.