"Sweetheart, come hither." I rubbed my face to get rid of the tears.
"Now Ethan why are you crying?" She said in a serious tone.
"I-I don't know." I sniffled
"Ethan tell me now why you are crying."
"I'm not happy momma." My voice wobbled.
She took my hand and led us outside. We stepped on the porch and she sat down on the white swing, and patted the spot right beside her.
The sun blazed on us as we sat in silence for a while.
"Ethan Happiness is unattainable. In this sick world people feed on your happiness until you are left drained, and lying bare on the floor. There is no such thing as happiness." My mother said with a calm smile.
A tear streamed down my face, and she reached over and whipped it away.
She grabbed my face softly so I was facing her "your crying now baby, but soon you'll learn how to keep it on the inside." She reassured me.
She straightened up and began to speak again.
"Happiness is a fragment of everyone's imaginations." She sighed.
"I have lived my entire life running, but never fast of enough. Hiding but never good enough." She mumbled.
A tear began to fall from her cheek and I reached over to catch it, but she slapped my hand down.
"Don't touch me." She spat
"I don't have happiness nor do I believe in it. And nether should you." She said sternly looking into my eyes.
"Momma don't say that. If you believe, God can make you all happy. That's what Mrs. Cornfield said."
She slapped me across the face and I looks at her with fearful eyes.
"Don't you ever speak of God in this house ever again. Happiness is not real better get that into your head now boy." She screamed.
She got up from the swing and walked inside the door leaving me to cry alone.
"She's wrong. She has to be wrong." I sniffed.
"She's right." A raspy voice spoke.
*****
"ETHAN!" I opened my eyes to see a worried look on Anastasia.
I looked down and saw my sweaty body.
decided to just publish a little something I had saved.
