tears of mercury | beastars

chapter 17. BURNING RETRIBUTION ii

𖤣𖥧.𖤣𖥧𓆏𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧
━━━━━━━━━━━

The cool night breeze caressed her face as (Name) sat on the edge of the rooftop garden, her legs dangling over the ledge. It was quiet here, far from the bustling halls of the dormitory, with only the faint rustle of leaves and the occasional chirp of a cricket breaking the silence.

This spot had always been her refuge—a place where she could simply exist without the weight of expectations crushing her.

She stared out at the city lights in the distance, her mind blank yet heavy all at once. The breeze tugged at her hair, and she absently tucked a stray strand behind her ear.

Footsteps echoed softly behind her. Slow, deliberate. They stopped just a few steps away. She didn't bother turning around; she didn't need to.

Then she spoke, her voice quiet but steady, as if she were confessing to the night rather than to the person behind her.

". . . I was afraid." She closed her eyes, exhaling shakily. "I didn't want to step foot on the stage. I shouldn't have salvaged the play. It wasn't really my place and I felt like I ruined it more than I saved it. I. . . I'm the worst actor you've ever known and somewhere deep inside, you know it too.”

Her hand curled, gripping the railings, nails pressing harshly on the cold and smooth metal.

"Two years ago, when everything fell apart. . . you already knew why I almost quit, didn't you? I've always been predictable to you. Always too easy to read." Her voice wavered, the tremor in her words betraying the calm facade she was trying to maintain.

She hesitated before continuing, the pain in her chest threatening to choke her. "You weren't wrong. That was one reason. But the other reason—the real one? It's him. Von. He still lingers. He's still here." She pressed a hand against her chest. "And maybe that's the worst part of it all. It's been years, and I can't let go. I can't move on from it."

Her laugh was bitter, self-deprecating. "I'm supposed to be stronger than this, aren't I? That's what everyone expects, even you. But I'm not. I'm weak, so weak that I stayed. Because you wanted me to. Because you said I belonged here. . . and maybe I wanted to believe that too."

She tilted her head up, looking at the sky. The stars were faint against the glow of the city lights below. "But staying true to myself? That's a joke, isn't it? Staying here wasn't me being true to myself. It was just me being a coward to walk away."

She paused, her voice barely above a whisper now. "I just hope this ends soon." She bit her lip, her gaze still fixed on the horizon. "But I guess we'll never know what I mean by that."

Silence stretched between them. The breeze carried her words away into the creeping nighttime, leaving only the sound of leaves rustling in its wake.

Louis didn't respond. He didn't move or offer any reassurances. He simply stood there, listening. It was his way of acknowledging her pain without intruding on it, without trying to fix what couldn't be fixed.

And somehow, that made it worse.

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. She wouldn't let them fall—not here, not now. She had already shown too much of herself.

When the footsteps retreated and the silence returned, she didn't move. She stayed there, staring into the distance, hoping the wind would carry away the ache in her chest.

But it didn’t.

It never did.

✅ EDITED