Fifty hours later, school was finally over. Again, sarcasm. If you haven't noticed yet, I am a very sarcastic person. The walk home was tranquil. Just me and my thoughts. The butterflies float passed me peacefully. The leaves crunch beneath my feet. Everything was enjoyable for once. No interruptions, no people. Just me. Just they way I want it to be. I pass my old friend (and former crush) Zachary Smith's house. We used to be two peas in a pod. Until a new neighbor came along and ruined it. His name was Gordon. And we have this relationship kind of like love-hate, but instead it is hate-hate. Gordon and I do not get along. If you put us in a room with a big black bear, I would throw him in front of the malicious beast. Zach had a choice between me or Gordon. And of course he chose the boy whose hair was full of grease and teeth were rotting. Who wouldn't want to be friends with such a beaut. But in all seriousness, I don't understand what made Zach chose him over me! The only friends he had were the flies swarming around him. After all of the decision making was over, Zach and his new bestie went off to play Chutes and Ladders leaving 9 year old Luna alone to play with herself. I haven't talked to either of them since that tragic day. Fast forward eight years and I am still Luna left alone to play with herself while my former lover (I say former only because I don't want to admit I still am in love with him) goes and plays Call Of Duty with the duty himself. I erase the memory and continue on my journey home.
Everyone is either at work or standing behind their work building smoking weed which leave the house empty. I am upset yet at the same time relived. I don't understand how something so dead make you feel so alive. I say that because I feel alive when I am sitting in the living room and not hid away in my bedroom. I feel free. And in a different way than usual. I bring my backpack to join me on the couch. I dig out my journal and being writing.
I am not okay. I have not felt okay in weeks. I do not understand. My days used to be sunny morning and blossoming flowers and birds chirping in the tune of a beautiful melody. I was okay. But those days are behind me. I now live in the dark of the night. The flowers are dead and the birds no longer sing. I am alone. I am trapped. I am not okay.
