How We Met Again

Chapter 38: On The Verge (Part I)

Chapter 38:
On The Verge
(Part I)

Rumble rumble.

Far in the distance, the sound of thunder reverberated, an omen of an epicentre that was yet to arrive. The black cover of clouds, looming large overhead, was immediate and visceral. There was no threat of rain – because the threat was already in the midst of being delivered, and torrential waters were pouring down from the heavens, slamming in fat heavy droplets against the panes of glass that were my only protection from the storm.

"Alright, we'll wrap there for the period. I'll see you all tomorrow."

Gathering my books, I slid them into my bag, and then stood up. With one final glance out the window at the uncharacteristic January storm, I walked out of the classroom accompanied by another far-off crack of thunder.

The two weeks of winter break had gone by both in the blink of an eye; and yet, also agonizingly slowly. I'd attempted to distract myself from the uneasy feelings consuming me by retreating to familiar ground: studying relentlessly for hours upon hours on end. It had even reached the point where Raiha had been forced to remind me to eat, an occurrence that hadn't happened in... a while.

Yet, even with an entire education's worth of distractions, it hadn't worked.

As I'd poured over material, studying the details of the Frobenius method of solving ordinary differential equations, Yotsuba's face had kept re-emerging in my mind. The look on her face at the track meet as she'd walked away from me. The exhaustion which had plagued her for weeks leading up to the event, the self-destructive drive that I'd been able to do almost nothing to stop. The strange distance between us in the week that had followed.

The break had been filled with nothing but anxiety for me.

It was over now, though. It was the second day back at school; and while I hadn't been able to really see Yotsuba the first day, given the general hustle and bustle of the new term, I was hopeful that today would be different.

<Lunch?>

Firing off the message as I walked out of the classroom, I was heartened to see an emoji of a thumbs up given as a quick response. There was a small part of me that had, irrationally, feared that something would change in the new year. That, after two weeks apart, Yotsuba would slip further and further away, and eventually... she would just disappear from my life.

Obviously, that hadn't happened.

Obviously.

I could feel my chest clench.

Pushing open the doors to the cafeteria, I made my way over to the counter to order my food – the usual, as always. Yet, as I waited for them to prepare my lunch, my mind was wandering; and the quiet feeling of unease remained as omnipresent as ever, clinging like hoarfrost to my spine and whispering formless warnings to my heart.

On the first day, I'd barely seen Yotsuba-- but I'd seen Itsuki, by virtue of being in the same class. When I'd asked her about how the holiday had been, she'd gotten a far away look in her eye, and muttered something about deserted islands. I hadn't been entirely certain what that meant... but after she'd returned to earth, she'd mentioned that Yotsuba had been, uncharacteristically, pretty grumpy during the entire trip.

I wasn't sure quite what to think of that.

Maybe the lack of sleep from training and studying finally caught up to her.

I wasn't quite at the point of allowing myself to believe it was anything else, despite Itsuki's words causing a strangely warm feeling in my chest. Yet, casting my mind back to how exhausted Yotsuba had seemed in the lead-up to the track meet, I couldn't help but worry. As my food finally arrived, and I made my way to our usual table, I could feel my face slipping into a frown.