When the Crown Falls

Chapter 18 - Crave me

EMI AINU

The room was alive with tension and anticipation as the court officials gathered in one setting, even unfamiliar faces were finally to be seen.

I stood beside a rounded table, a massive wooden carved map laid across it with red flags, marking the border of Aurelia's vast territory.

Tenji sat at the head of the room, his eyes somewhat fixated to my every move. These days, he seemed to be more concerned than usual, perhaps afraid that I might plot something behind his back. Either way, I could care any less because a recent problem had recently shaken the palace inside and out.

I cleared my throat and everyone fell into an immediate silence. "Is everyone ready?"

The court officials nodded and so did Commander Sujin.

Commander...
That was who he was as of the given moment. People may take it nonsensical when I say this, but the two are completely different.
Under keen eyes, Sujin Seimu was a man ever so gentle, his demeanour spared him from the vile rumors the battlefield had described him. On the other hand, Commander Sujin fed those rumors, his rough tendency to spare no mercy to those who opposed him could only tell what truly happens on the battlefield. It was unbelievable how different the two were. Much more unbelievable because he had refused to show me Commander Sujin when we were alone.

"Your majesty,"
I was pulled from my train of thoughts. Discussions had long begun and a general had chimed in. "Regarding the military advancements in Cortia, we've received reports of increased movement and fortification along the border with Telloa."

The room quickly filled with murmurs and the tension rose significantly.

The general continued, his expression graver. He approached the table and pointed at each location on the map. "We've noticed a significant troop build-up near the region we recently took over. A few scouts also reported heavy weapons being transferred into the border areas."

Another official spoke. "Your majesty, given their aggressive stance and the amount of military activity, it's likely Telloa is planning a retaliation or perhaps aiming to reclaim the taken land."

Another chimed in. "With this level of military build up, we cannot rule out the possibility of a surprise attack. We might be looking at a full-scale war here instead of just a mere raid or retaliatory strike."

Murmurs and complaints filled the room.
I dragged my gaze to Tenji who sat silently, his eyes fixated on the map and finally ripped from me.

"Alright," I turned back to the riled up crowed. "We must stay vigilant and increase our troop presence along the borders. I want reports sent immediately if anything changes. And I want some of our best generals to start strategizing our defenses. Commander Sujin-"

"My apologies, I have news!" the sudden interruption of a eunuch took everyone by surprise. Barging into a room full of higher ups and people who could have legally killed you was foolish than any fool. What news did this eunuch bear to risk his life as if nothing?

"Your Majesty," the eunuch caught his breath before continuing. "I have received word that the first prince has finally been consummated, Lady Yua is with child!"

TENJI YOUZEI

The chair scraped the floor as I jumped up in surprise.

The whole court arose with joy, that until they remembered Emi who was still in the same room.

The officials fell into silence and shuffled, their eyes turning to her, awaiting her reaction.

What should have been a news met with joyous celebration became a possible death sentence to anyone who uttered a word about it next.

We waited for the table to be thrown, a shout to be deafening, hell, even a frown. But nothing.

She remained stiff, her expression hardened, but her eyes betrayed no emotion. Emi was indeed well trained to keep everything about her in check, whether it be in front of so many people or behind closed doors, she was like a machinery, only did as she was told. It infuriated me.

"This is unexpected news, Send out an announcement, and a celebration will be held." I could barely hide the disappointment in my voice.

~
My thoughts were a whirlwind as I stalked through the palace halls. The news of Lady Yua's pregnancy spread throughout the empire like wildfire. But whatever kept me on edge was far from that matter. Indeed, it was Emi. Her reaction or better to say, lack of. Her stoic exterior had been like a mask, hiding whatever is trying to show. The fact that I couldn't read her was like thorns to my skin.

I was beyond pissed. Her emotionless facade was maddening.

How in hell's name did she keep so calm despite the news? Did she really not care at all?

My jaw clenched and my hands balled into fists. I despised this, the fact that she could hide her feelings so well, while I had no idea what she was actually thinking. This damn woman was a steel trap, kept her emotions locked away, where only she held the key.

My thoughts were pulled away and only then did I realize that I had already neared the doors to Lady Yua's chamber.

I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself. But my irritation with Emi wouldn't subside.
Was it because I couldn't read her? Can't control her like the rest? But I could. I knew I could. Hell, she spent the majority of her life serving the imperial throne, my throne.

I pushed open the door with more force than necessary. The room was quiet, dimly lit by the fire of burning wood. Lady Yua was sitting by the window, her hand on her stomach.

She looked up at me as I entered, a small smile graced her lips and her eyes held a silent excitement.

My gaze absentmindedly lingered where her hands laid, merely for a moment before I pulled it away.
I stood there for a moment, eyes fixated on Lady Yua. She was gentle, kinder, and her emotions were always clear on her face, while Emi was a fortress, all cold and aloof.

"You're really with child?"

Lady Yua nodded, her smile widening. "Yes, Your Majesty. I am."

Despite the good news, a pang of something close to annoyance came at the thought of a child. It wasn't out of Lady Yua's fault, but in the eyes of the empire, this child would be an illegitimate one, just a product of my affair. I pushed the thought away but failed to hide the slight frown on my face.

"I see," I said quietly.

"Is something the matter, Your Majesty?"

The concern in her voice only pushed my annoyance more.
I shook my head, trying to maintain my composure as I approached her and lied through gritted teeth. "Nothing for you to concern about."

I knelt down and rested my hands on her stomach. As my lips touched the fabric of her belly, I closed my eyes, sinfully imagining that it was Emi who was sitting on the chair and not Lady Yua.
I imagined it was her warmth, her clothes, her touch. I imagined her reaction, the shock, the outrage that would fill her eyes if she were in Lady Yua's place instead.

Was I wrong? To linger my lips against the softness of her fabric, to let my mind get lost in the fantasy. The image of Emi's rage, her disgust, filled my thoughts. I could almost see her glare, the way her jaw would clench, the way her eyes would burn with disdain.

I craved that expression, the way it would make my blood simmer with anger, a strange sort of excitement.

As my mind played with the fantasy of Emi, I realized something. I craved her rage, her contempt.

If I could not reach her love, I could aim for her madness instead.