Chapter 9 - Forgotten Duties

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SUJIN SEIMU

One, two, three, four.
The rhythm of Emi’s pounding heart kept on replaying inside my head.
I barely slept since the morning at the lake for every moment I closed my eyes, all I could see was her being devoured by pain. All I could feel were the tightness of her grasp on my robe, and all I could hear were her quiet sobs that seemed the loudest to me.

The repeated tapping of his finger against the wooden surface of the desk neared resemblance to the ticking bomb threatening to detonate inside me.

I watched as Tenji sat on his golden chair—one that had grown small visible stains from the corrupt secrets it hid. He flipped pages of paper and went about his day as if had not committed any sin. But perhaps the occurrence were too common that he could barely perceive it as such.

I felt waves after waves of disgust from standing in the same room as him.

“You’re unbelievably casual about all this.” I tried to stop myself from speaking, yet I could barely even breathe to know what Her Majesty  have been enduring.

“What?” Tenji looked up to me and his puzzled expression only added more fuel to my anger.

“You don’t even attempt to deny or explain your actions, even after being caught in the act…you sit so nonchalantly as if it were to be expected.”

Tenji laughed as if my words were nothing but a joke. “What are you even pertaining to?”

“What I’m referring to is your role as a husband, and a ruler. Do you expect to sire heirs to this empire by neglecting the duties that come with the title?” I neared him and he spoke as he stood from his chair.
“Are you lecturing me now, commander?”

Oh how badly I wanted to unsheathe my sword.

“No, I’m warning you, Your Majesty.” I gritted my teeth. “You ought to remember that the empress is not just a mere wife, but also a desirable prize.”

Tenji might be the emperor, but the only thing he held was nothing but a mere metallic crown. He had to learn how to be grateful, learn how to work for what was handed to him on a diamond plate. 

“Be careful, Your Majesty…I heard that Her Majesty of Telloa had just recently passed away, it might not be long till the King searches for a next Queen.” The Telloa Kingdom had odd traditions and cultures, and that included a predatory marriage where males hunted for potential wives—whether they were married or not—the King particularly was known to had taken his wives from neighboring kingdoms, and if Tenji knew any better, he ought to hold on to the one person that kept this empire from unreasonable destruction.


Playlist:
WILDFLOWER — Billie Eilish

EMI AINU

An abrupt knock on the door interrupted Kyone’s daily evening routine of combing my hair to silk. “Who dares?!” she shouted at the shaken servant who immediately fell to his knees the moment the doors of my chambers opened.
“Y-Your Majesty…my apologies for interrupting but My Lord the Emperor has ordered for your presence in the marital chambers tonight.”

What..?

The rattling palanquin finally stopped but I had failed to notice. I grew too focused on my train of thoughts that I was only pulled from them when a eunuch finally called for my attention.

I tightly gripped the curtain of the palanquin, pulling it slightly to look outside. Darkness enveloped us, with only a mere lantern piercing through it. It had been weeks since I had stopped begging Tenji to perform his marital duties to me so I could hardly recognize the place, however, my feet knew well of the exact steps to take on the individual pavements of rocks that led to the chamber’s doors.
I finally reached and stopped at the hinting sight of  Tenji’s silhouette on the thin surface of the flowing curtain.
“Your Majesty?” I called out to a near whisper.

The last we shared a bed was the night of our wedding. He barely looked at me then, what more did he want now?
“You came.” his voice sounded like a gust of chilling air that swept through the blazing dessert. “Come. Sit.”

Nervousness and the uncertainty of his intention left me puzzled that the words just rolled off my tongue. “Is there something wrong, Your Majesty?”

Tenji took a moment to respond, but eventually, he did. “Wrong? No, nothing’s wrong.” he leaned back just as his silhouette showed. “I just wanted some…company.”

Company? I scoffed. After countless attempts, now he wanted my company?!

A bitter expression spread across my face as I looked away, refused to even set an eye at his direction. “Have you called me by mistake, Your Majesty? Do not fret, I shall retreat and ask for a servant to call for the lady you truly desire.”

Tenji laughed, one that is far too bitter and mocking. “Believe me, empress, I do not make mistakes. I called for you, and you came, did you not?’

I stood there frozen, in disbelief at his words. “Now sit. Must I repeat myself?”

I hesitated, but I eventually did as he said and sat on the other side of the bed—just mere inches away from him. This was the safest distance, not too far that he might take offense and not too close that I could still easily turn if he were to ever change his mind and send me away. 

His piercing voice yet once again pulled me from my train of thoughts, “You look confused.”
Of course I was, I was not used to being by his side. At all.

He reached out and lifted a stray strand of my hair, letting it fall through his fingers.

“I am, Your Majesty. You have been avoiding me for the whole year of our marriage, why is it that you changed your mind? Has the court finally mentioned this matter to you?” I scoffed.

Tenji’s smile dropping was hard to not notice, but he quickly regained it through a small chuckle. “Ah, no, the court has been anything but vocal about it. However, someone does seem to believe that a ruler should have an heir.”

I nearly flinched at the ticklish sensation when he tucked the strand of  my hair behind my ear and spoke, “You never wondered why I never bothered to take you to bed or visit you in your room?”

"I did. I wondered every night, Your Majesty. However, is it really my right to even question you?”

“No, it is not.” He quickly rebutted, the words sharp on his lips.
He leaned closer, and closer, and closer, until we became mere inches apart than before. He leaned in and whispered to my ear, making sure I could hear every cruel word that left his mouth. “I have no interest nor desire in a wife. It was just a part of a deal, one that was made by my father and your grandfather. A responsibility assigned to me by the throne. I have, and always will desire a mistress instead of a wife. I am certain you may know that by now.”

A lump of humiliation and heartbreak formed behind my throat, yet, I still forced out the question, “Then…why?”

He let out another wave of a mocking laugh before reaching out and gently lifted my chin, making sure I looked directly into his eyes, letting me know that not one lie was said. “Would you have rather me sire an heir with another woman?” his words left me hanging in the air.

I lowered my head after failing to find the willpower and courage to keep his gaze. The clarity that he saw me as nothing more than a child bearing machine felt disgusting and confusing.
I began to question Tenji’s humanity. I began to question the purpose of my existence. Even from before I was born, my fate was already embedded.

Was I really to exist only with the sole purpose of serving the imperial throne?
Was I even human to begin with?

My whole body froze with disgust, even more when Tenji’s lips suddenly crashed unto mine.
He scarred me forever with a night I wish I could forget.

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