The suicide note

Chapter 3

Before I would go to sleep, I'd stare at the trees outside my window and ask myself many questions.
What pushes me to wake up and get out of my bed every morning?
What is my goal in life?
I get up in the morning to prove myself wrong. To prove that the world is not as bad as it seems and that it is actually a beautiful place.

I try to find happiness.
I just want to laugh and be normal.
Is that too much to ask?
Why is it too hard for me to just accept the fact that life is a bitch and I just have to keep moving until something good happens?

I feel lost and terrified.
I've waited for goodness to happen in my life for too long.
I cannot wait anymore.
I cannot be patient any longer. In my last moments I wished and prayed that a miracle would happen to me.
I wasn't ready to leave yet.

I havn't said my goodbyes to my mother, oh my sweet mother.

I wonder what she would think of me. The last thing that I would want her to be is ashamed of me, of her only daughter.

I haven't said goodbye to my family.

How selfish of me.

I really am something am I, or was.
I wonder what you, my dear reader is thinking of me in this very moment.
You are the last person I would want to think of me as a failure. You,my dear reader, are my inspiration.

Like I said before, I like opening up to people I don't know.

I'm getting a headache. I'll just go lay down and keep on staring at the ceiling.

That has become my hobby.