Random shit!!!

broken soul

Well it is truly a slap in the face when you realize you're all alone. It sucks, you look around and see so many people but then there's you off in the corner and no one is even paying attention to you, you might as well be a ghost. No one hears you...... no one sees you....... no one feels you....... and no one cares. There are people who will call you a friend but in truth where are they when you need them the most? Where are they when you need a shoulder to cry on? where are they when you need someone to tell you it's going to be ok? They are off with other more important friends or they are at home playing video games. They dont really care about you, they never did. So then your forced to confide your feelings into a book and then you meet real friends only three or four, but still they're there when you need them, they actually care, but then you realize you're just a broken soul. Why should they care? But they do and that makes you happy, but you still feel so alone. The feeling never goes away its always there.... Ever growing...... ever consuming...... a never ending black hole of sadness and regret. That feeling will never go away ...... it will haunt you till the day you draw your last breath...... a monster in the back of your mind always laughing at you...... judging you....... that feeling of loneliness turns into depression, and the depression eats at you. It starts to break you down till you can't take it anymore and all you want is for it to stop.  the pain, the sadness, and most importantly the loneliness. you just want it all to stop..... to leave you in peace, and after sometime you fined a little peace. at first the peace lasts a while but as time goes on it gets shorter and shorter making you cut deeper and deeper as you watch as your friends again start to disappear, leaving you all alone to deal with your suffering, and that's when you realize all you ever wanted was someone to love you even when your at your worst...... someone who will forgive you if you lash out at them........ someone who loves you for you flaws and all, but such a person does not exist, at least not for you, and that thought makes you so sad and lonely that you take that blade and you make that final cut to fine your ever lasting peace...... and as you sit there watching as the blood pools around you, you smile because in reality, you know you were never meant to make it any further than this.