Within the spaces

Episode 20

Arriving at the café, Faye felt the weight of her own nervousness. Though she had a clear idea of what she wanted to say, initiating the conversation felt like climbing a mountain. She was used to navigating tough conversations, whether professionally or among friends, but this... this was different. Yoko was different. She was very protective of the young woman. She wanted to handle this matter with care. She would not want to do anything to hurt Yoko. And the thought of Yoko waiting for her, both reassured and unsettled her. She had expected her to be angry at her or avoid her, but the fact that Yoko agreed to meet so soon made her realize how much this moment meant to both of them.

Through the café window, she spotted Yoko sitting at a table, a glass of water in her hand and her phone in the other. Yoko's gaze flickered between her screen and the table, a telltale sign of her nerves. Faye couldn't help but notice the sadness that clung to her features. Her heart ached at the sight. Yoko's demeanor was so unlike the cheerful, teasing energy she usually carried. And that made Faye more nervous and the weight of the situation was crippling her.

Taking a deep breath, Faye stepped inside. Yoko noticed her immediately, putting her phone down and standing up as Faye approached. Their eyes met, and for a moment, Faye felt everything fade around her.

But Yoko hesitated, lingering a few steps away as if unsure how to approach her. The awkwardness was almost palpable, and it struck Faye like a sharp pang to the chest. Yoko, who had always been so effortlessly at ease around her, now seemed uncertain, caught in a moment of uncharacteristic hesitation. Faye could see the wheels turning in Yoko's mind, as though she was going through countless ways to close the distance between them but couldn't settle on the right 'appropriate' one.

Faye hated the thought that she might be the reason for Yoko's discomfort - that she had created this unfamiliar space between them. She softened her expression, offering a smile that she hoped would ease the tension. "Won't you give me a hug?" she asked gently.

Without a word, Yoko stepped forward, wrapping her arms around her P' Faye in a tight embrace. The moment their bodies connected, a quiet relief washed over both of them. Faye felt Yoko's vulnerability in the way she held on, and Yoko could sense Faye's unspoken apology in the way she was caressing her back.

They pulled apart slowly, their eyes meeting again. Faye gestured to the table. "Shall we sit?"

Yoko nodded, and they settled into their seats. They ordered their usual coffee - Faye hoping it might help ease the tension. But she was quickly proven wrong as a heavy silence settled between them, thick and suffocating. The faint clinking of glasses and the low murmur of conversations from nearby tables only seemed to amplify the void between them rather than fill it.

She kept her gaze down, tracing the rim of her coffee cup with her finger, a nervous habit she didn't even realize she had. Her mind raced, grasping for the right words, but nothing felt right. She could feel Yoko's presence acutely - how she was sitting stiffly across from her, the subtle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, the way her fingers fidgeted with the edge of her sleeve, twisting the fabric into tiny spirals.

The tension was a living thing between them. Faye's stomach churned with unease, her thoughts a chaotic mix of guilt, confusion, and something else she wasn't ready to name. Every second that passed felt heavier than the last, and the longer the silence stretched, the more impossible it seemed to break it.

Yoko, meanwhile, kept her eyes fixed on the table, her brows furrowed in concentration. She looked as though she was rehearsing something in her head, her lips parting occasionally as if she was about to speak, only to close again. Faye noticed this and felt a pang in her chest. She wanted to say something - anything - to make this easier, but the words simply wouldn't come.

Faye stole a glance at Yoko and caught the younger woman biting her lip, her hands now gripping the edge of the table as if trying to anchor herself. The sight made Faye's heart ache. Yoko looked so small, so vulnerable, and Faye hated that she was the cause of it.

"I..." Faye started, her voice breaking the silence for a moment. But the words caught in her throat, and she quickly shut her mouth, letting the silence reclaim its territory.

Yoko finally glanced up, their eyes meeting for the briefest moment before Faye looked away again. The weight of Yoko's gaze was too much—so full of questions, of hope, of something Faye wasn't sure she deserved.

Seconds stretched into what felt like hours. Faye's heart was pounding in her chest, the rhythmic thud almost deafening in her ears. She gripped her coffee cup a little tighter, her knuckles turning white, and took a deep breath, hoping it might calm the storm raging inside her. It didn't.

Yoko's voice, soft yet steady, finally broke through the silence like a lifeline.

"I like you, P'Faye."

The words hung in the air, simple yet profound, cutting through the tension like a knife.

Faye blinked, momentarily stunned. Her grip on the cup loosened as her eyes darted to Yoko's face, searching for... what? Certainty? Sincerity?

Before she could have reacted, Yoko continued.

"I know this is a lot. Maybe it's too much, but I've been holding it in, and I can't anymore." Yoko looked down at her hands, her fingers now interlocked tightly. "I like you more than I probably should. And I know you've noticed. I've tried to hide it because I didn't want to make things weird or complicate everything, but..."

Her voice faltered for a moment, but she pressed on. "But yesterday, seeing you pull away, it hurt more than I expected. When you looked away from me, something inside me broke. And I realized I can't keep pretending like it's not there. I'm sorry if this makes things harder for you, but I needed you to know."

Yoko took a shaky breath, her gaze darting to the side before returning to Faye. "I've liked you for a while now. I don't even know when it started. Maybe it was when you stayed up late to help me with that scene I kept messing up. Or when you made me laugh so hard I almost fell off my chair. Or when you take care of me but try to act nonchalant about it. Or... or when you drop me home every day and gently touch my head. I feel like I've known you forever. Just looking at you makes all my worries fade away. You've always made me feel safe, P'Faye, like I can be myself without worrying about being judged."

She paused, her voice growing quieter. "And then there are the moments when you're just... you. When you look at me with that serious expression like you're trying to figure me out. Or when you tease me and make me blush, even though I try to act like it doesn't affect me. I started looking forward to those moments more than I should have."

Yoko's lips trembled slightly, but she didn't stop. "And the worst part is, I know I shouldn't feel this way. I know there are so many reasons why this is a bad idea. There are so many things that are not ideal about it. But I can't help it. I just... I care about you, P'Faye. So much that it scares me sometimes."

Her hands gripped the edge of the table as if to steady herself. "I don't expect anything from you. I don't want to pressure you or make things awkward between us. I am telling you all this because keeping it inside—it's been tearing me apart."

Yoko paused, her eyes searching Faye's face, and then met her gaze. Faye didn't look away, her expression unreadable. Yoko continued, her voice softer now. "And I know... I know you feel something too."

Faye's eyes widened slightly, her composure momentarily slipping.

"You don't have to say it, P'Faye," Yoko said gently, her tone almost a whisper. "But I've seen it—the way you look at me sometimes, like you're trying to figure out what to do with whatever's in your heart. The way your eyes soften when I tease you, even though you roll them right after."

She let out a shaky breath, her lips curving into a bittersweet smile. "You try so hard to keep things professional, to keep me at arm's length. But I can feel it, P'Faye. I can feel that I'm not the only one struggling with this."

Yoko's eyes shimmered with unshed tears as she finally fell silent, her chest rising and falling with the effort of her confession.