Steven Universe x Male (ocs)

Cheeseburger Backpack

[Open on beach near Crystal Temple]
Steven :*sitting on a rock and singing* Hey Mr. Postman, bring me a post, bring me the post that I love the most. *stops singing as Jamie the mailman appears* Huh? *gasps and gets excited* My song came true! Do you have a package for me today?!

Jamie: Hold on. *opens his mailbag* Let me see what I've got here. *takes out a peculiar package* Did you order a loaf of bread with a stamp on it?

Steven: No.

Jamie:*pulls out envelope* Did you order a jury summon for R.J. Finkle?
Steven That's not me, I'm Steven.
Jamie Oh, right, right, right, Steven! *pulls out a parcel* Here it is, Steven Universe.

Steven: Ha! *ecstatically* This thing is gonna help me save the world.

Jamie :Really? It says it's from Wacky Sacks Supply Company.

Steven: Garnet, San, Amethyst, and Pearl think I shouldn't go on magic adventures because I don't know how to use my Gem powers.

Jamie: ...That seems reasonable.

Steven: But there are other ways I can help.

Jamie: With a Wacky Sack?

Steven: Exactly!

Jamie Do you know how you can save my world? *takes out a signature pad* Sign here, please.

Steven :Aah! *writes his name and draws stars over it*

Jamie: Barb yells at me if I don't get signatures.

Steven: That's awful. (Steven's house suddenly starts glowing from the inside.) Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are back! *grabs the parcel and runs up the stairs towards his house*

Jamie: Wait, Steven! What is a Wacky Sack?!
[ Int. Beach House]

Steven :*enters the house* Huh?

Garnet :*covered in feathers* Hello, Steven.

Pearl :Amethyst, we do not need that! It's not going to fit in the fridge!

Amethyst: What? I got this. *slowly slides a tray out of the fridge, spilling a carton of milk and dropping a bag of bagels, and puts the giant egg inside* Look, it fits!

San: Wait don't push the door-!

Amethyst:*slams the fridge door, as a crack is heard from the inside*

San: Too hard. (sigh) And now it's smashed.

Amethyst: We can still cook it. We can make a big omelet, or a quiche, or big sunny side ups! *fades out as Pearl begins speaking* We can make it! That's a thing, right?

Pearl: *unamused, and turns to Steven* We fought a giant bird. We're only here for a second, we've got to go back out.

Steven: What? Why?

Pearl: *shows Steven a statue she's holding* We have to place this Moon Goddess Statue on the top of the Lunar Sea Spire before midnight. Without it, the whole place will fall apart! Oh, Steven, you should have seen the spire in its heyday. *projects a hologram of the Sea Spire* It was an oasis for Gems on Earth. It's abandoned now, but we can still save it with this statue!

Steven:Wha? *eyes light up* That's perfect!

San: That it's about to fall apart?

Steven: What? No! Because I can help carry it for you, in this! *opens the parcel and makes dramatic sound effects, as he pulls out a burger-shaped bag*

Pearl: A hamburger?

Steven: It's a novelty backpack, shaped like a cheeseburger! Aww, I blew it. *puts it on one shoulder* I was just going to wear it one day, and you guys would be like, "Dang, Steven, that's so cool." But this is obviously important Gem business.