Love's Inferno

Chapter 26 - Two Birds

Dante

I'd be lying if I said I knew how long we stood there, entwined in each other's arms, but something about the way she was breathing, deeply and at rest, soothed the chaos that had roared in me throughout the day. It had been a long one, with an ending so glorious I couldn't have predicted it in my wildest dreams. And I wouldn't classify it as a dream, proposing to her - technically, she had proposed to me. None of this was a dream, I'd never classify myself as being this imaginative. I would never have presumed, even to the quiet of my private thoughts, that I would ever be worthy of being with her in this way... comfortable. Especially a comfort borne of a series of unfathomable and equally messy events but here I was, in her arms - the one place I would fantacize about. 

It was late, I was weary - so was she. The pulse of this day had been extreme, even for me but here, listening to her breath, feeling her hand skate through the hair at the nape of my neck; it was all worth it for me. I know I don't deserve it, but I'll be danmed if I don't enjoy it. Slowly, I felt her began to withdraw, or rather disentangle her body from mine but I wasn't ready for the loss of her warmth so I reached for her hand in advance - my fingers brushing across the ring; a reminder of just how much things could change in a matter of hours. I stood to my full height, stretching my now aching back as she looked up at me. It was a different look than I was used to; there was an absence of suspicion and analysis, a quiet openness I would never deign to disturb. This look, the one now alive on her face invigorated me. I felt as if I'd captured midnight, moonlight, daybreak and the first rain in a bottle; her beauty, her openness etheral and serene. 

"Dante..." 

I realised I was staring, so I continued as she averted her eyes from mine - shy in a new way, a hair away from being smitten. After a while of gleefully studying her face, watching her in bloom her eyes found mine again. 

"It's getting late." 

"Yes... it is." I brushed her cheek with my free hand, I wasn't challenging her - my body in complete agreement but my bones, something in my spirit now tethered to her, resisted the prospect of being put out. 

"It is... I want to get ready for bed." I brushed her cheek again, she leaned into my hand. Not getting put out... 

"Okay." 

"Okay." 

We walked towards her bedroom, holding hands, in gentle silence and I wondered if this was it? Domestic bliss. I watched as she began a routine that I was beginning to become familiar with, until she paused holding her pajamas. 

"Would you like to..." Shy again. 

"Stay?" 

"Yes..." 

"Yes." A small smile. 

"Do you want to go fetch your things? I don't actually know what you need at night considering the fact that you're normally here uninvited."

"Potato Potato." 

"Tomato Tomato" she responded before turning and heading for the bathroom. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish she wouldn't retreat to the bathroom to change, if only because I was now greedy for the intimacy of it all. Looking at the closed door, I knew I wanted more of her, all of her. I wanted the moments that other couples found banal in abdunance. I wanted her phone connected to my car's bluetooth, and I wanted her to answer my phone. I wanted to listen to her complain about work and to argue over the remote. I wanted all the small intimacies that underscore a life well lived in love; and I wanted them with her. I wanted her to change in front of me, so consumed by a story that I could be wallpaper until I'm summoned to zip up a dress, clasp a necklace or pull off a  shoe. That's what I wanted as I listened to her rustle away behind the door but tonight? Tonight I'd gorge myself full on the propsect of laying my head next to her own, being elbowed by her in her sleep and learning if she was a snuggler or not. I had a feeling I wouldn't be folded onto the Vatsak tonight and even this possibility was more than enough for me.