Escape||H.S

5 years in the fandom

So today I have decided I am not going to be updating.
Today is a special day and I would like to relax. It's been 5 years since the boys were put in a band by Simon Cowell.

Yesterday I see an article that the boys may take some time off. After seeing harrys tweet yesterday and Louis as well I couldn't help but feel deep down in my gut that this might be the end.

I scroll threw Twitter and I'm just scared to see what I might find. Harry sounded as if it was the end of the band and my heart still aches after reading that text. Of course I go tell my friends one of them agrees with me that it might be the end. But the rest of my friend disagree saying 'it's not over'

This feeling I feel right now is depression. Depressed and scared if it might be over. Or that soon it'll be all over. But I tell myself 'one day, just one day they might get back together and start again' just as the jones brothers did but that didn't last long.

I'm scared till this day happens when the news breaks out. I'm not ready to see them go different ways.

Last weeks was just wild and unable to take in what all happened.

It was like a week of no break. Hearing that harry getting death threat, Louis being a dad, Zayn cursing out naughty boy, Zayn coming back to the band,Niall on shot, Louis blocking a Brianna fan acct on Instagram, Liam proposing.

All that happened all in 1 week! It was to much to handle as my heart broke ever second seeing it all happen.

I still don't know if Louis is a dad or not. There are proof that she is but then there is proof that she isn't.
I'm not going to deal with baby stuff until I actually hear it from Louis or see her baby bump.

We directioners fight all the time but then we some how managed to get along with each other by the end.

We meet people off the internet. I have meet 3 amazing internet friends from Twitter and Instagram and I couldn't be any happier to have them in my life. (aliyah1119 CarolAnnGladstone Forever_Hariana )
They've have put up with my shit for a while now. And I want to thank them for being here with me.

It will be almost 4 months now since I have meet aliyah1119 . She is a beautiful smart amazing girl to have in your life. She may not think she's beautiful but she truly is. She is a strong beautiful funny and intelligent girl. There's day where she is upset. I can tell when she is. I will always help her bring that beautiful smile on her face. The first time we talked we immediately clicked. She has grown close to me and I consider her as a sister to me.  I have told her story's about my past and she has to and I'm happy to help her through the tough times.

I haven't know CarolAnnGladstone that long tbh. We have meet threw Instagram talking about stupid shit. It's been almost about a month since I've known her. She is sassy strong and a beautiful girl. We talk every day, I can just say she is some what similar to Louis being sassy and funny. I remember the time we meet it was on Instagram on one of her photos. We started to talk and then that lead up to DM and now through text. . She is just an Amazing friend to have around. She knows to say the right words when we talk about sad stories also happy stories that happened int he fandom and some how we connect through that.

And lastly is Forever_Hariana I remember the day we meet. It was on Twitter talking about the baby drama.
We tweeted each other and started to text on kik. She would always joke around make me laugh at the weird conversations we have. That's what had us stay as friends. We could be weird around watch other while we know that we are joking around. 
We have known each other for such small amount of time but I know we will always stay in touch.

That is how I describe to 3 amazing, and beautiful internet friends that I have meet this year. We all seem to be diffrent but what what makes us come close together. We can talk about random shit and not get pissed at each other.

I love my internet friends with all my heart and I wouldn't know what to do with out them.

An now is my speech for the boys....
I may have not liked one direction when they started out but thank you to mukeland  who had dragged me through the doors of the fandom. I have been a fan since around 2012 maybe around 2011 but I'm happy to be in this fandom. They have stolen my heart and refuse to give it back.

I saw them live on oct.5th 2014.
It was the day before the concert when my parents told me I was going to go to the One Direction concert. I didn't care what floor seats I had I was going to see them. I was in the mall at that time. So when my mom told me I cried. People where giving me stares but I wasn't those 'your crazy' stares. I was yelling saying I was going to see Onedirection. Everyone looked at me with a smile on there face as they see me crying.

When I got home my mom called Me and told me that they were floor ticket. I broke down and fell on the floor.
That was the happiest moment of my life but when the day came It felt like a dream.

The day when I see Zayn had left the band I felt my world shatter.
It didn't feel right when I heard the news I didn't know how to react. I was just shocked.
It's been 4 months since he has been gone. I wish he could stay but he just didn't feel right. I understand what he felt and I respect it. He is being engaged with the beautiful Perrie Edwards. And I can't wait for it all to happen.

It Hurts to see the boys grow so fast but we are growing with them.

5years with the biggest boy band in the world that some how stole everyone's heart.
(Sorry for this long ass unimportant chapter just needed to talk my heart out)