Screw It, I'm Going Out to Find It!

Chapter XLV: I'm Becoming the King of the Pirates

Sengoku bristled, crumpling the report he had just received. Garp, in all of his genius, had commissioned a puppet of his grandson to appease the celestial dragons. At the time, he had shrugged it off. Why should he care what sort of shenanigans that man got into? If the celestial dragons were content to watch a wooden man, puppeteered by one of their warlords, get its head chopped off, then let them. However, days after the incident, the puppet, now dubbed Laffy, had crawled out of the trash, regained its head, and was now causing a ruckus. Where the hell did Garp get that abomination?

This was not the sort of headache he needed at present. A far more pressing issue demanded his attention, so he had sent Bartholomew Kuma to deal with this matter. That left him free to ponder his goat thief. Poor Yagi must have been terrified to be so far away from him. If his hands weren't tied as fleet admiral, Sengoku would have gone down there himself to take care of the matter. Instead, he was forced to sit and wait for news to arrive.

"Sir!" The silence was interrupted by the intrusion of a vice admiral. They were panting, having run across the building to reach him.

"What is it?" barked Sengoku.

Saluting, the vice admiral reported, "The puppet Laffy has reportedly decked a celestial dragon, sir!"

Sengoku's fist hammered against his desk. "What!? Kuma was supposed to be taking care of this matter — how did he let this happen?"

Shivering under Sengoku's ire, the vice admiral answered, "Bartholomew Kuma was last spotted in the New World sharing a drink with a man named Señor Pink."

"This is ridiculous behavior from Kuma."

"I know, sir," the vice admiral agreed. "Who goes to a bar and orders tea?"

"No!" snapped Sengoku. "I sent him after this Laffy. What is he doing elsewhere?"

"I believe he was forming some sort of club, sir."

"I don't actually care. I was being rhetorical."

The vice admiral's eyes widened as he let out a small gasp. "You know you can't use that word anymore, sir?"

"Rhetorical?"

Cringing, the vice admiral corrected him, "They call it an intellectual disability nowadays, sir."

A heavy silence blanketed them as Sengoku did everything within his power to stop a blood vessel from popping. "Go and tell Garp to clean up his mess," Sengoku told the vice admiral. "It should have been him from the start, not Kuma. Now, with that out of the way: GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!"

***

How had everything changed so quickly? One moment, they were headed back to The Barrel, the next they were bombarded. Jaune slid back as the suited man slammed his foot onto the ground. They were being separated. Smoker appeared as well, dividing Penny and Zwei from Blake and Ruby.

Jaune attempted to swim under the suited man, but a sharp kick connected with his chest. How did he make contact? Jaune's devil fruit should have left him immune to physical attacks while swimming. The question rattled in his head as he tumbled to the side.

"Did you really believe you could outrun your taxes?"

Jaune lifted himself, narrowing his eyes. "You're the IRS."

"Rob Lucci, to be precise," Confirmed the man. "I'm glad that you understand your situation. That will make this next part all the more satisfying."

Penny, just out of the corner of Jaune's eye, held Zwei like a football before absolutely punting him at Smoker. Mid-air, the dog shifted from a corgi to a muscular beast with a right-hook cocked and loaded. His fist sailed straight through the cloud of smoke that was once a marine. As Zwei sailed through, now headed for Lucci, Jaune took the opportunity to skirt around the edge.