The High Queen II

I can't do it again

The courtyard of Cair Paravel was bathed in the soft light of dawn, the cool breeze carrying the scent of the sea. Eleanor stood by the stone railing, her gaze fixed on the horizon where the golden glow of sunrise kissed the rolling hills and dense forests of Narnia. Peter and Susan stood nearby, quiet in the stillness, each lost in their thoughts.

The soft sound of pawsteps broke the silence, and all three turned as Aslan approached. His golden mane caught the early light, making him seem almost ethereal. His steady gaze held a gravity that silenced any greeting they might have offered.

He stopped before them, his eyes warm but serious. "Narnia has taught you much," he began, his deep voice resonating with calm authority. "But Peter, Susan, your time here is drawing to an end. This land has given you all it can, and soon, you must return to England."

Peter's expression tightened, his jaw clenching as he processed the words. Susan looked down, her hands knotting in front of her as she fought to maintain her composure.

Eleanor, however, froze. Her breath caught, and her face turned pale. She gripped the stone railing as though it were the only thing keeping her upright.

Aslan noticed her reaction immediately, his gaze softening. "Eleanor," he said gently, "what troubles you?"

She swallowed hard, her voice barely above a whisper. "I can't go back," she said, the words trembling with a mixture of fear and pain. "I can't do it again."

Peter and Susan turned to her in alarm. "Ellie?" Peter asked, stepping closer. "What do you mean?"

Eleanor shook her head, her breathing uneven. "You don't understand," she said, her voice breaking. "Last time... last time we left Narnia, it wasn't just hard. It hurt. Physically. Every step I took back in England felt like someone was ripping my heart out of my chest. There were days I couldn't even stand, days I couldn't breathe without feeling like I was dying."

Susan's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide. "Ellie... why didn't you tell us?"

"What would it have changed?" Eleanor snapped, her frustration spilling over. "The doctors couldn't find anything wrong, and you all were fine. How was I supposed to explain that the world we left behind was killing me?"

Peter's face twisted with guilt and worry. "Ellie..." he started, but she cut him off.

"And now you're telling me we're going back," she said, her voice rising. "How am I supposed to survive that again? How am I supposed to watch you leave and know I'll be stuck in a place that feels like it's trying to kill me?"

Tears filled her eyes as she turned back to Aslan, desperation etched into her face. "Please, Aslan. Don't make me go back. I don't think I can survive it a second time."

Aslan stepped closer, his great paws silent on the stone. "Eleanor," he said softly, his voice filled with understanding, "you will not be returning to England."

Her breath caught, and she stared at him, her lips parting in surprise. "What?"

The great lion's gaze was steady as he continued. "Your path is different from your siblings'. Narnia is not just a place you've lived or a world you've fought for. It is a part of you, and you are a part of it. When you struck down the White Witch, ancient magic was set in motion—magic that bound your heart to this land. You are tied to Narnia in ways that cannot be undone."

Peter's brow furrowed as he looked between Aslan and his twin. "Bound? What does that mean?"

"It means," Aslan explained, "that Eleanor's heart belongs to Narnia. Its magic runs through her, and its life sustains her. Returning to England would not just hurt her—it would undo her. The pain she felt before was the result of a heart being separated from the land it belongs to."

Eleanor's knees threatened to give out, and she gripped the railing for support. "So... I can't leave?"

"You cannot," Aslan said gently. "But this is not a punishment, Eleanor. It is a gift. You are a protector of this land, a guardian of its people. Your bond to Narnia is what makes you strong, what allows you to fight for it with such courage and resolve."

Susan stepped forward, tears glistening in her eyes. "But she's our sister," she said, her voice trembling. "We can't just leave her behind."

Aslan turned his gaze to her, his expression filled with quiet wisdom. "Susan, you will leave, but Eleanor will never truly be gone from you. The bond you share as siblings is just as strong as the one she has with Narnia. And though your paths diverge, they are not separate. You will see her again."

Eleanor looked at Peter, her twin, the person who had always been her other half. "How am I supposed to do this without you?" she whispered, tears streaming down her face.

Peter stepped closer, pulling her into a tight embrace. "You're the strongest person I know, Ellie," he said quietly. "You can do this. You've always been the one holding us together. And you won't be alone. You'll have Narnia, and you'll have Aslan."

Eleanor clung to him, her tears soaking into his tunic. "It's not the same," she said brokenly.

"No," Peter agreed, his own voice thick with emotion. "It's not. But you'll figure it out, because you're Eleanor the Courageous. You've always been the brave one."

Susan joined the embrace, wrapping her arms around both of them. "We love you, Ellie," she said softly. "No matter where we are, we'll always love you."

Aslan watched them silently, his eyes filled with a deep understanding. As the first rays of sunlight spilled over the horizon, bathing the courtyard in golden light, he spoke once more.

"Eleanor," he said, drawing her attention. "Your heart is bound to Narnia, but it does not mean you lose your family. It means you gain the strength to protect all that you love."

Eleanor nodded slowly, her heart still aching but steadied by the warmth of her siblings' embrace. Though the road ahead was uncertain, she held on to the knowledge that she was where she belonged—and that love, no matter the distance, would endure.