Dream or Nightmare

Chapter VI

Andover, New Jersey

At the Police’s Computers

Chapter VI

            “What? What did you say?” I said still staring at the computer screen.

            “I said, that I think there’s -” Lydia started to say, but I cut her off.

            “Who the fuck do you think you are?! You told me that I would find information about my parents here, so where is it?!” I blew up. All my frustration and anger from my childhood, my terrible day today, never seeing my parents: it exploded out of me, and I took it all out on her.

            I gripped her by the collar of her shirt and shook her, surprising her. She didn’t even fight me. Her arms were limp by her sides as she stared into my eyes. They looked at me sadly and with fear. This was the first time I actually had seen her afraid. Midnight black was the color her irises possessed and they stared at me with such intensity that my body took control and I pushed her against the wall. The chairs squeaked as I pushed them over.

            She lied flat against the wall while I held her by the collar still, and she looked deeply into my eyes, trying to hide her terror. But I saw through it.

            My breath was heavy and uneven and came in short pants. White puffs immerged out of my mouth and into the air. The tension was strung high, and I suddenly became nervous. My hands trembled as my grip slackened; then my legs were pieces of lead about to break. I felt like I had just run a marathon.

            There was never a girl who could make me lose control like that. I was always in check and control of my emotions. But now, Lydia had unleashed a ticking time bomb into the world.

            I let go of the collar of her shirt and stepped back. Each of my footsteps was like the chime of a grandfather clock each hour: slow and steady. Then I hit the opposite side of the wall, but with each step I took, Lydia took one as well, and matched my pace. I was soon backed into a corner and I closed my eyes, hoping this was all a dream. No this is your worst possible nightmare.

            I felt like a caged animal on display, all of the hungry eyes of people looking at me with curiosity.

            I shrunk down to the floor in shame. I used my hands to hide and mask my face contorted from my wounded ego and humiliation. Auntie Jenny would be embarrassed to call me her nephew.  

            I could feel Lydia’s presence right in front of me, but I refused to look up. I refused to see the fire in her eyes. There was no way Lydia would let this foolish act of mine to slide. Instead of a punch in the jaw –like I expected– she patted me on the back.

            Despite the sweat that clung to my skin and cloths, I shivered as her cold skin made contact with mine. It was like jumping into a pool of cold water on a hot summer day.

            I finally looked up, and saw that Lydia had surprised me again. My life would never be boring without her around. Her eyes reflected blue irises as light as a cloudless blue sky and were as soft as cotton candy. Understanding flooded her features as her hand was outstretched to mine.

            Just like the time when I almost passed out in the hallway.

            It was an exact déjà vu moment for me.

            My body reacted before my brain did and I took her hand in mine. She helped me stand and led me back to my chair near the computer screen. I was propped up in the plastic chair like a doll, and she positioned herself in the same exact spot we were in before the incident happened.