The Road

Larry loves you.

Lawrence Carson is a dumbass.

That's what I've heard from parents who didn't want me to leave a nasty impression on their "well mannered and good" children or on grimy bathroom stalls at school.

I never understood why people have always say that.

Lawrence Carson is a dumbass.

I was kid and kids do stupid things. Like jumping off a high platform with an umbrella to be Mary Poppins. Using sticks as wands and swords. Making Barbie have a divorce and take the kids.

Parents wouldn't like that if their kid was called a dumbass.

I wasn't happy.

I just hated most of the stuff in my life. I didn't ask to be alive, and most certainly did not asked to be judged for it. I didn't live a good life.

How can you expect good out of someone you didn't even treat well. There's a thing called respect, learn it.

Lawrence Carson is a dumbass.

Teachers gave me looks every time I spoke. The look of disappointment and disdain. The "shut the fuck up, kid" look.

The look is what I'll forever call it and rightfully so. And I'll never forget it. Why do you want to ruin the self esteem of an eleven year old boy who is struggling financially and mentally? Why do you proudly say be yourself when you couldn't let me be I what I wanted to be?

I know God gives us humans obstacles, but I don't think a child needs to worry about unnecessary stress and anxiety. The fear of shame and judgement. Or in some cases being evicted for the third time.

Lawrence Carson is a dumbass.

The only reason I didn't have straight A's is because you paid too special attention on your perfect and golden starred students, not your students who struggle or need that help. Why worry about me and my future when you can focus on your favorites?

This will forever be a reason why I don't care about authority, I am God. I know me and choose me. I will never depend on anything to build me and to be responsible for my actions besides me.

Larry loves you.