A/N: I had an absolute ball writing this; it was far more fun than I thought it would be. Of course it made me a tad nostalgic as I remembered all the details of my own wedding day.
I often listen to music whilst I write, but for this chapter my choice of music was a little bit different. I chose Pachelbel's Canon in D major and decided to make it the processional music in the chapter. Friends of mine used the music in their ceremony and I just adored it. Of course I cried at their wedding, but truth be told I do cry at most weddings.
Chapter 4
Elena's alarm went off bright and early the next morning. She'd been awake for some time already, just laying there looking at the ceiling. She turned off the alarm and pulled the comforter over her head, wishing she could hide under there forever, wishing she could sleep. She felt so tired, but she had to get up.
Last night had been one more sleepless night in a long month where lack of sleep had become the norm. When she'd finally put her head on the pillow, she saw her bathroom scene with Damon on repeat. She'd had no intention of sleeping with him before her deadline. But when he'd touched her; when he'd kissed her, she'd fallen apart in his arms. If Stefan hadn't knocked on that door, she wouldn't have thought twice about letting him have her there and then. She'd never had sex in a public place before. Never.
That incident had only proved to her how dangerous marrying Damon would be. She couldn't keep her balance around him, she couldn't maintain control of herself and she couldn't say no. She laughed bitterly, remembering how she'd told Damon he didn't like to be out of control. That had been a projection. She didn't want to be out of control, and that was exactly how he made her feel.
She felt so much desire for the man that it scared her. She'd been waiting a month for him to kiss her and when he had, it had far surpassed any fantasy she'd had about the moment. Once they started sleeping together, she had no hope of keeping her emotions out of it. She understood that. She'd never been very good at keeping sex and emotions separate.
He'd given her such logical reasons for them to get married, but she still believed that love should be the number one reason for marriage. She knew that she could fall in love with Damon; but she didn't want to, not when she would be falling alone. Relationships weren't meant to be like that. How could he possibly expect things to work? Stefan's words floated through her head for the hundredth time since he'd said them, 'it'll never work.'
The only things she had to hold onto were anger and resentment. They would stop her falling in love. She hoped. If she felt more for Damon than he felt for her, then that meant he had all the control. After he'd essentially forced her hand and made her marry him; and considering his money gave him the power to do almost anything he wanted, was it so wrong that she wanted to maintain some shred of control in this relationship?
There was a knock on the door, before her mother walked into the room.
"Elena, you need to get up. The big day is here." Her mother's smile and enthusiasm were a stark contrast to her own feelings of dread about the day ahead.
"Just give me a minute," she told her mother, "I'm just saying goodbye to my bed since I'll never sleep in it again. It deserves a moment."
"It is a nice bed, Elena but I'm sure Damon's bed will be nicer," her mother said with smile and a wink.
"Mom!" she exclaimed.
Her mother giggled like a schoolgirl. "If I was a bit younger and single..."
"Okay, stop, stop," said Elena putting up her hand, not wanting to heyar the rest. "I'm getting up."
"I've made you a hot breakfast. You can't have an empty stomach on your big day. We don't want you fainting."
Food was the last thing she wanted, but she didn't really want to faint today, not in front of all the cameras that would be there.
