"𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙂𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙒𝙝𝙤 𝙎𝙖𝙬 𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝" - 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

卩尺乇ㄒ乇几匚乇

A/N: sorry for publishing a little later! I have so much to study, and I'm also taking a math course so i can better understand the subject (I kinda suck at math :c)

︵‿୨♱୧‿︵

"Going to school is strange. 

It's as if, on the way, the world crumbles, piece by piece. And when the last piece falls, what remains is a mass of corrupted matter, an old file from an obsolete computer. The civilians, out minding their own business, leave trails of whispers that come to my ear, as if they were made for me. Because of them, a mess is created in my brain that presses it, crushes it, and I feel like a generic piece of meat.

I've walked that street so many times that I don't even notice it anymore. In the morning, it's as if I get up and immediately find myself sitting at the desk, in class, in my school. Around me, people are gray shadows, while the world outside is a riot of colors. 

I sit in the last row, she next to me. 

When she gets bored, she leans against the wall next to her and looks out the high window. I, on the other hand, create small origami of cute animals. Not knowing where to put them, I gave them to her, who kept them carefully. When I went to her house, I saw them lined up on her desk. 

I never stopped making them, but now I don't know who to give them to anymore.

It's been weeks since her place has been empty. The flowers are withering, the sky is an unpleasant punch in the stomach. 

By now, I'm the only punching bag left. The last few weeks, all in all, haven't been so bad. But now that almost everyone at school has forgotten her, the bruises are starting to make themselves felt again. 

We two were a puzzle too complex for them, and they threw it away. Without Mina, I'm a missing piece, impossible to fit. I feel alone, terribly alone, and deeply sad. 

Even my brother, who once saw me, has erased himself from my life. Every time I approach him, he pushes me away with a cold hand and rude manners that are not his. Even at school he looks at me with disdain, when his friends make jokes, he remains silent.

He leaves me alone in an absurd place, I can't believe it's all real. My eyes betray me, I see nothing anymore. While once I had a few joyful things, each with its own weight, now I'm an old dirty feather that has nothing on it. 

The only thing I possess now is the very thing that I didn't ask for, but that my mother gave me almost eighteen years ago. I believe that, at this point, it is the only gold that I can hold in my hands."

︵‿୨♱୧‿︵

Why me? 

Why does my existence disturb others so much? Does my breathing or writing make them feel so deeply unwell? 

I don't understand. I wish I knew the reason for their anger, because I can't take it anymore.It hurts, it hurts a lot, and the physical pain has sadly turned into mental pain too. But no one listens to what I have to say.