As my long day disappears into the night a sudden weight is lifted off my shoulders! After over 5 hours of endless working I was able to study for my finals and finish my biology project. To relax my mind from all the stress of cramming in study time for upcoming school tests I decided to pick up and read my favorite book of all time "The Fault In Our Stars" by: John Green. Laying down and reading this book only made my mind drift away into a state of mind like no other. Reading the lines captivated my mind, I was drawn into the book as if it intrigued me for the first time. I couldn't put it down the moral, the story it all made me want to read more! Love was the key to happiness it was the beautiful sensation of feeling complete. The bubbly feeling you get when your near one another or the look on your face when you smile and blush but can't find a way to hide it. That is what all made it worth while even if it wasn't forever but at least it became a memory you can hold onto. The sad ending of the story made me think about life. What's our purpose? What is love? Is it real? All these questions and more wandered through my mind and really got me pondering over the thought of happiness. Everybody in life wants a happy ending like the ones in movies or in books. But at 16 I still feel like I never truly experienced it...
12:00 am🕛
It's already 12 in the morning and I can't manage to fall asleep. Various forms of thoughts cross my mind. It's like everything is just jumbled up in my brain and I can't even try to sort it without getting stressed. As I toss and turn I think of the nightmares that are yet to come. Finals are coming, internship interviews are approaching, college applications are waiting to be filled out and I am just growing up to fast. I'm already a junior in high school and still have no clue what I want to do with my life. What if my purpose was to be a failure?! I literally have nothing figured out, I don't have a plan after high school. There are so many fields and options to start a job in but the thought that never crossed my mind was what do I like to do? And the simple answer is I don't know. If you were to ask me how I feel about myself I wouldn't have an answer! It's like I don't even have my life figured out by now and that's the sad part. Me not knowing who I am or finding myself while in my beginning years in high school made me feel lost,dazed and confused! I never found love yet I don't know the feeling and I just want to be happy. In the midst of all this madness I began to become lost in my own thoughts! My mind inaugurated drifting away from reality and suddenly the thought of love and happiness came upon me. I was just hopelessly daydreaming about a love story that only my mind could create... Something that could take my mind off all this stress made me feel a little sense of calmness. And that was when I slowly fell asleep in the middle of the night. From dusk to dawn the night slowly faded away and the morning sun began to rise..🌅 School is less then 3 hours away and I still haven't gotten enough sleep, my long day will begin again but this time with no sleep...
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