My Brother's Bandmate

Twelve

Remember when I said we still had one week left? Yeah that one week passed away faster than the Eurostar.

A lot has happened the past week. Not surprisingly enough Brad and Clara got together the latter staying in London to check up on Harry. Zayn went all ninja on Brad once he found out about the cheating.

Dad and I haven't spoken to each other since the day mom and I spoke, maybe even before that, and she told me she would get dad to call me back, which he didn't.

Speaking of which I open the door to his room only the slightest bit.

"Dad? You in there?", I ask in a hushed tone.

"Yeah honey, right in here.", he replies.

I let out a sigh I hadn't realized that I was holding.

I enter the room and dad pats a space next to him motioning for me to sit next to him, I do so.

"Dadda why didn't you call me back?",
I ask him disappointment lacing my tone. He looks guilty for a moment and keeps his head down.

"I haven't been well this month.", he replies with a sheepish smile.

I almost melt at the sight. Dad and me have been close but it has been a while since. And how I have missed this.

But now I feel guilty for accusing him. Dad has monthly fevers frequently. The doctor says it's because of the leg injury and it's somehow connected. Seriously though I don't understand the point. Doctors nowadays are useless, but then again I don't know the first thing about fevers so .... Anyways I feel bad , so I apologize.

"I'm sorry, are you fine though?", I ask.

"It's ok and yes I am fit and fine.", He replies.

"I heard about Harry. I'm sorry dear. How have you been holding up?", his eyes trail my face for any signs of depression.

Right, my mom and dad have been informed about Harry, well I told mum because I needed consolation and she must have told dad. The topic itself brings tears to my eyes.

"I'm good daddy. But you know how much I like him, it hurts to see him like this.", I explain and he nods. I don't know if I love him but I like him too much to let him go.

"Well do you love him?", never in a million years would I have thought that a would have such a conversation with dad. Just no. But it feels oddly comfortable. He has always been easy to talk to but it has been a while since we have had talked our hearts out.

Love.

The word has such a strong emotion to it. You love your family, friends but there is one person, your other half that you want to spent the rest of your life with. But you can never be sure of love, it's the cause of your happiness as well as your doom.

Wow that was deep. Don't ask me where I got that from.

"I don't know, dadda", I sigh.

I'm just not ready to go into another relationship soon. I would be lying if I said that the Brad incident didn't hurt me at all. We had only been dating a week and he cheated. Just like that. This only explains that I am not good enough. And the L- word, it scares me. Look at me, my first relationship didn't end well and I'm thinking about love.

"Well go figure it dear, true love is hard to find.", he says and I stare at him as if he has grown another head.

Seriously though how can he be so sure that Harry is my one true love and even if he is, I can't. I just can't bear to hurt him and in the process hurt myself too. I may come out as selfish but I can't help it. I cannot let him bear the pain of seeing me break when he..... Well when he dies.